Blakka's Box: How would you react to an older woman?

October 07, 2015
Ity (left) and Fancy Cat

Hey, what would you do if you are a strong young man standing somewhere in public and an old lady, who looks like she's too old to date your grandfather, suddenly starts flirting with you? And this is not the playful, harmless flirt that many old-timers are fond of doing.

No man, this granny is coming across like a thirsty cougar, who wants to discover how Stella got so many deep grooves in her back, while showing a young bwoy how water walk go a pumpkin belly. And she picked you!

How would you react? She seems genuinely serious and starts inviting you to come home with her to help her lotion her body. She is offering to give you her number and she laying on some sweet, sultry lyrics and offering to send you naughty pictures. What would be your immediate and instinctive response? Me, I might start looking at her and imagining how the pictures would probably look.

shrink away

Yeah, my mind is weird like that. But how about you? What would you do? Would you cringe and shrink away in disgust or would you humour her and pretend to be interested even out of politeness? Or better yet, since dem say age is just a number, if you are single and available, would you look around first to make sure nobody is listening in on the conversation and then start seriously taking her up on the offer?

Well, look here nuh, a number of unsuspecting Jamaican men were put in that wonderfully awkward position in various locations across the Corporate Area recently. The catch, though, is that the men did not know until very late in the impromptu interaction [too late for some of them] that the quaint little old lady was really the not-so-old actress Ruth Ho Shing and they were the latest inadvertent stars in 'how would you react?' - the popular hidden camera segment of the 'Ity and Fancy Cat Show'.

The result was side-splitting amusement for thousands of television viewers. The men, some caught between embarrassment and curiosity and some balancing on the bridge between interest and indignation, went through some fierce facial acrobatics and mental gymnastics as they tried to find the appropriate response to the amorous grandma. It was a delightful dilemma for most of the men who were caught on camera. It seems as if men are good at dishing it out unwanted affection and unsolicited attention, but get very discombobulated when they become the targets.

matrimony right

Only a few gave the old lady a somewhat gentle but definite no and moved along. They all seemed mildly interested. In fact, if you ask me, some of them seem like they might have probably moved to matrimony right there on the spot and then try to hurry home with her for immediate consummation of marriage. Luckily, Ity and Fancy Cat suddenly popped up to announce that they've been spoofed. Then the shock, then the relief. The reactions are usually priceless and provide much laughs for all.

Fun and joke aside though, I couldn't help wondering about how drastically different the drama would be if the situation was switched around and we had an old geezer trying to throw loving lyrics at young ladies on the street. What? He would instantly become a dirty old man who definitely would not be so well tolerated. And the entire scene would not be so funny at all. If he picked the wrong lady, him woulda probably even get two solid box and the entire gathering of strangers would cheer enthusiastically. Such is life.

This is a fun and friendly advice though peeps, be warned. Next time you are caught in an unplanned, bizarre, but passionate exchange with a complete stranger in a public place, make sure you're wearing your best smile because you never know when you may be the next one caught in a hilarious 'how would you react' moment.

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