Big girls need love too

November 09, 2015

Plus size actress Gaboure Sidibe, who plays Becky on Fox's hit drama, Empire, did the unthinkable in the latest episode - she simulated sex on screen.  This scene, of course, sent all the body conscious, vegan, gym-obsessed fat-shamers off and they went on Twitter to voice their disgust.  The actress and her on screen boo did give a great performance, but beyond that, they presented something that our skinny colleagues did not want to believe or witness - fat girls getting 'some'. 
Well thankfully, I come from a country where fat girls not only get some, they get most because Jamaican men love women with some "meat on their bones".  Beyond that, I don't understand why people continue to act as if they are in charge of everyone’s choices.  Furthermore, I don't know why some persons feel that only certain people are allowed to have sex, let alone on TV.
Most Jamaicans are familiar with the adage, "every hoe have dem stick a bush", which, loosely translated basically means that there is someone for everyone, even big beautiful ladies.  The truth is that sexy comes in all shapes and sizes, so for the critics, who believe that only women who look like Halle Berry and Jennifer Lopez are allowed to do sex scenes on TV, I say good luck.  I love the fact that women are finally being represented in entertainment with our beautiful variety.  For too long movies, magazines and TV shows acted like only tall slim, women with long flowing hair represent beauty.  Even worse, the idea that anything outside the stealth, size two woman, definitely cannot be considered as being sexy. 
Before I go any further, I want to thank some women who stepped out in their big sexy confidence and celebrated who they were even though they don’t represent the stereotypical concept of beauty.  So thank you Beyonce, Monique, Oprah Winfrey and our very own Miss Kitty, TIFA, and Pamputtae.  I want to especially big up Miss Kitty because she was the first Jamaican woman to step out and say, “love the skin you’re in."  She took the insult of being fat and turned into “fluffy” and embraced all of her.  Now fluffy women across Jamaica have embraced all the curves and contours and have become more confident overall. 
So, all I have to say to the people who find the thought or image of fluffy women being sexual disgusting is change the channel and don’t you have sex with her.  Otherwise, understand that individually, we have preferences and it makes sense to be respectful of other people's choices even if we don’t agree with them.  Have fun and stay sexy.
Send your questions or comments to or tweet me @drsexylive or Facebook


Dear Dr. Sexy,
I am not comfortable with my husband seeing me naked. I get dressed in the bathroom when I shower and when we have sex, it has to be in the dark under the covers.  He has not complained, but the thought of him seeing my naked body is terrifying. I don’t even look at myself.  I don’t want him to start cheating. Do you think I have anything to worry about?

Brenda, Ocho Rios

Dear Brenda,

You need to build your confidence, not for your husband, but for yourself. Start by looking at your body in the mirror. Turn the lights on and take a look at yourself. Focus on the things you like, notice how the light hits your skin, touch yourself and see how your body responds to stimuli. Once you become more comfortable with our own nudity, you will able to share it with your husband. 

Good luck,

Dr Sexy

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