I am so done with him!

March 03, 2016

Woooooiiiiiieee!!! Waa gwaan TamFam?? Right away mi waan big up all who fahwud a Ragabash Kingston recently. Respect fi di support. An bless up all Tambourine Radio and Ragashanti Live listeners. Nuff love an respect. Awright, watch di ride, pree da sharementz ya:


Hello Raga, I have been with my soon to be ex-husband for almost 12 years and have been married for almost nine. When I first met him back in Jamaica, he had someone pregnant and he didn't think to inform me until the child was almost one. It was easy for that information to slip by me because shortly after we met I migrated and we developed a long-distance relationship. So I forgave him for not telling me about his child and we moved on because he assured me that the relationship between him and the mother had ended before we met and her pregnancy was just the result of a fling and nothing serious.

We would travel back and forth to see each other and eventually we got married 21/2 years after we met. We still had a long-distance relationship for about another two years after that until he finally decided to migrate. However, it took him a while to get his documents since I wasn't a citizen as yet. He had a good job back home which he decided to give up so he could come and be with me, and I appreciated that. But looking back, I think that was a bad idea.

I have caught him having inappropriate conversations with his babymother and when I confronted them both, he told me that I should not have messaged her and that I was wrong to do that. He didn't even defend me when she passed rude remarks, saying I broke up their happy relationship!

I fell out of love with him after a while due to the way he treated me and the fact that he didn't step up as a man, because it just felt like he was no longer my husband but a child I had to be constantly supporting. So I eventually told him I needed a break.




A day after we called it quits and he moved out. He has harassed me and has called everyone around him telling them things about me and don't think it's getting back to me ... . Raga, He is a pathological liar! When he saw that I wasn't relenting, he contacted me to beg me not to divorce him before he's eligible for his citizenship (which is months from now) because he wants to file for his daughter back home! Or he wants me to file for her (Note, he could have asked me to file for her along time ago so I don't see what's the urgency now). But that's not the best part. Not only am I to remain calm, I should also remain hush-hush about his request because he doesn't want to be judged, as people will think that was his initial intention when we got married! I don't want to judge him wrongfully, but Raga, that looks suspicious. It makes me wonder if he wants to file for the child's mom as well. I don't know. But I chose not to do it. I feel so hurt because I have been such a great wife to this man, loving him unconditionally and being faithful throughout the years and he didn't even deserve it! I mean, I'm both intelligent and sexy, plus I don't have no trees growing in my face, so him lucky!!

His family members suggest that I should work it out because the issues I expressed to them aren't that serious! But who the hell are they to tell me what to do, and when he was doing his dirt they were nowhere to be seen. I'm sure I left a lot of details out but it's too much to put in one email.

I sure wish I had waited a while before getting married so I could enjoy my 20s because throughout the years I've been so caught up in taking care of him and our family trying to ensure that everyone is happy that I forgot about my own happiness, and now that everything is falling apart, my life literally feel as though it's being ripped to shreds.

So sorry to hear all that you have been and are going through.

I noticed the focus of your email is to share what's happening, and not so much for me to offer advice. You appear to have gone through so much negatives with your husband that you now have some clarity on what needs to be done to better your life, despite the hurt you now feel. I encourage you to think carefully about major decisions before you make them, and to remain steadfast in your new-found conviction to now look out for yourself and to take care of yourself. I wish you all the best in your journey.

Awright, peeps, mi a leggo di ends ya now. Sen mi unu mixup dem at ragashanti@ragashanti.com.

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