Mama needs love too

April 19, 2016

Have you ever walked in on your parents having sex? How would you respond to your mother showing sexual interest in your friend? For many persons, the thought of their mothers being sexual is very difficult to imagine.

As a matter of fact, it is traumatic to even imagine that sex is an actual requirement for women to become mothers to begin with. Before a woman has children, she usually has an active social life, multiple sexual partners, and she even enjoys going to the club and other stereotypically 'young people' activities. So why is it so hard for us to see our mothers as sexual beings? I understand that from the perspective of a child, the mother is a source of caregiving and nurture. So even as that child becomes an adult, the same nurturing role remains and so it is hard to add sex to that. But what if we look at it from the woman's point of view.


Growing up female


As a young girl growing up, the lessons that a woman is taught about her body will shape her overall confidence and decorum. As she moves into womanhood, she will grow into her body and start learning how she likes to be treated sexually. When she becomes pregnant, her body goes through an amazing metamorphosis that affects all aspects of her life - from her sexuality to her shoe size. Many women report that they feel more sexual during pregnancy. As she gets older, she becomes more comfortable, in her body and she is less inhibited in her sexual expression. Taking a look at this progression, female sexuality piques later in a woman's life.


No sex after 60


Now, I understand that quite a lot of people grew up with a single mother and she represents a specific symbol to us. Therefore, adding a sexuality to that is difficult. I recently spoke with a male friend of mine whose mother is dating, and he is having a very hard time accepting that she has a man. She is over 60, and in his opinion, she should not have any interest in sex at her age. He cannot imagine that as a grandmother she actually wants to go out on dates and be sexual. To add insult to injury, her beau is almost his age.

I guess I can see where he's coming from, except I will not accept this expectation that women of a certain age shouldn't have any sex drive. Why? Who made this rule? She's not dead. Her body still works, she gets aroused and she's still attractive, so why shouldn't she be sexual? So, for my colleagues who believe that their mothers should lose all interest in sex, I say get over yourself. Remember that you too will get to that age, and that same ridiculous expectation will be placed on you. How would you feel when you are in your 60s and feeling sexy but your children are telling you to go play with the grandkids? At the end of the day, you just have to accept that sex is not just for young people and your mama needs love too.

Have fun and stay sexy.

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