Lunatics upset with Matthew for not visiting Jamaica
So another hurricane has passed and Jamaica was once again spared the worse.
And as usual, the after-storm debates and discussions are the source of much bemusement and amusement. Some say we're lucky and some say we're blessed. I say we are blessed with luck. What say you?
From what I pick up, the majority of Jamaicans seem to think that we're clearly underserving but, apparently, specially blessed. And there are many dedicated prayer warriors who'll say amen to that assertion and personally claim the credit for keeping the country properly prayed-up and fully protected - like dem and God have a special arrangement!
Of course, for every few faithful devotee there are usually a couple of provocative sceptics to cynically dismiss the prayers and posit the view that as far as natural disasters are concerned, Jamaica is just enjoying a nice little stretch of good luck that's bound to run out some time soon.
That debate will live on as long as natural disasters continue to be a reality, so mi cyan bother join up!
Beyond the debate, I've also noticed some rather interesting reactions from my fellow Jamaicans in the immediate aftermath of Matthew.
I got quite a few chuckles from people who playfully cussed the hurricane for leaving them 'stood up' after all the promise of a thunderous landing.
Many ladies humorously compared the storm to some men who are always declaring their intention to mash up things but never ever deliver on their promise, also known as no real action but plenty 'bag a mouth'.
I found it funny and had a good laugh, for example, when comedian 'Boasy Boy Floyd' posted that he was having a special sale to try and redistribute all the hurricane supplies he bought and will no longer need.
But I stopped laughing when I realised that Floyd may have been joking, but there were plenty people who were genuinely angry and disappointed by Matthew's failure to land on Jamaican shores. Our people nuh easy at all.
PREPARED IN VAIN
People are actually angry that they 'prepared in vain' and are stupidly lambasting the good folks at the meteorological office. Now tell me say we nuh special!
Some lunatics even pushing some crazy conspiracy theory, suggesting that the Met Office was in collusion with merchants to encourage the sale of supplies by falsely predicting the storm.
If stupid was illegal, prison full!
Look here nuh, every time I travel on a plane, before the pilot take off, the flight attendants carefully recite the emergency procedures and explain what to do in case of a crash, and I pay full attention.
So far, no crash nuh happen. And each time I land safely, I give thanks. I don't turn round and 'trace off, the flight attendant for making me prepare in vain. Our energies could be better spent being grateful for our safety and mobilising assistance for our brothers and sisters in Haiti who were not as fortunate.
Yu nuh agree?
Yeah, friend and family, Jamaican people getting upset because a hurricane for which they enthusiastically prepared did not actually materialise is like a customs agent choosing to get angry because he searched hundreds of passengers all day and did not find any contraband.
It's tantamount to the idea of getting upset about the fact that you have insurance on your motor vehicle and never seem to get in an accident. Or as Dahlia Harris quite rightly puts it, 'Cussing the Met Office is like cussing thief because yu grill yu house and dem neva bruck in deh!"
I couldn't agree more.