Happiness is necessary in relationships

June 13, 2017

I am a fan of romantic comedies. You know, the movie where two very attractive people meet in some really cool, unexpected way, and they start talking and laughing together. And before you know it, the montage of them going on dates, playing in the flowers, and sharing awesome kisses rolls in. And you start to feel all mushy, and you smile because this looks like a happy couple just going through life, sharing time and space together.

In real life, however, it's not quite as perfect. Real couples have challenges and conflicts, and they don't play around in flowers or maybe it's just me. All joking aside, with all the ups and downs in a relationship, happiness can seem like a distant goal for some couples.

When I talk to people about happiness, they always refer to the future and speak about some element that needs to come into play for the happiness to start. The response is usually, "I'll be happy when...," then they name what needs to happen. But what about right now? How can you be happy now? What do you need to make your relationship happy now while you work on the challenges?


Here are a few guidelines:


Do fun things together.

I know we're so busy being serious adults, parenting and conquering our careers that fun seems like a frivolous waste of time, but leisure is vital to our mental health and overall happiness. Plus fun feels good. You can make memories that become great reminders to lean on in more difficult times.


I say it all the time: communication is important to the success of every relationship. That's a fact. For you to grow together, you must talk to each other. Stop telling outside parties the problems you have with your partner; talk to him her directly. If you need the assistance of a professional, then the both of you should decide how to proceed. But you must communicate.

Have sit-down dinners.

We have very busy days, and sometimes meals become a function of just satisfying hunger. Change that. Set a time and sit down with each other to share a meal. Get rid of the devices, look in each other's eyes, hold hands, and reconnect. This is an opportunity to decompress and catch up with each other. Make it count.

Learn something new together.

Going on a new journey to can be adventurous, and it will give you a project to bond over. You can choose dancing, painting, even a cooking class, it doesn't matter; just keep an open mind and have fun with it. At the end of the course, you would have done something new and grown closer because you did it together.

Share your passion.

We all have something that inspires us that makes us feel worthy. Share it with each other. Your partner can be your greatest support system, so give him/her the opportunity by sharing your passion with each other.

At the end of the day, no relationship is perfect. But if you are focusing on ways to bring joy to each other, then you will increase your chances of achieving happiness.

So, instead of seeing happiness as a distant goal, it will be a working progress. Living in the 21st Century is very demanding, and most of us have full, busy lives. Make the time to work on the happiness in your relationship and build the intimacy between you and your partner.

Have fun and stay sexy.

Send your questions or comments to sexychatwithshelly@gmail.com or Tweet me @drsexyann or Facebook www.facebook.com/allaboutthesexy Website: www.drsexyann.com.

Other Commentary Stories