What makes a relationship successful?
Relationships are complicated; they take work and some seem to be doomed even before they can start properly.
For some individuals, relationships are how they define themselves and so they try everything to be in one. When we look at relationships of the past, we tend to reminisce and speak about them as if our ancestors had better relationships.
But what makes a relationship successful? The length of time a couple stays together? The level of intimacy they share? What about the amount of material possessions they accumulate together?
People tend to look at the external status of a relationship and the numbers. But are those the most important attributes to a successful relationship?
Personally, I think the quality of a relationship is the real measure of its success. What I mean by quality speaks to the time that a couple spends with each other.
Typically, when a couple starts to share a home, their conversations are centred around the running of that home.
Some couples simply don't talk to each other except when discussing the next bill that needs to be paid or if they have children, that's what they talk about.
In order to maintain the overall happiness in the relationship, this cannot be the norm.
It's very important to the success of your relationship to have conversations with each other as a couple. At the beginning of the relationship, a couple will sit for hours and talk about everything.
They share ideas, passions, dreams, fears and laughs. This is normally what many of them reminisce about when they talk about the honeymoon phase.
These conversations are integral to the happiness in relationships. When you stop sharing together, you become roommates, co-parents, and colleagues.
The level of intimacy is diluted and the overall happiness is reduced. It's not enough to just make the effort when you are just getting together. The effort must be maintained after you have committed to be together.
No matter how busy you get, always make time and effort to be with each other and share. One way I recommend that a couple stays connected is through daily dinners.
Treat dinner as an important meeting and use it as an opportunity to catch up with each other. Talk about your day, your dreams, the news, politics; it doesn't matter what topic.
This is time shared and intimacy improved, which is a great way to make your relationship a success.