Fass & Curious: One sad funeral flex


December 28, 2015

Happy, happy holidays! Christmas come and gone and mi not even did seet, but a so it go. I'm sure I'm not the only one who will agree, as that was most people's complaint. "It don't feel or look like Christmas!" At least, it's not like it used to be back in the days! (When mi talk so, mi feel ole yuh si lmao! But a true man!)

Anyways, be happy you got to celebrate because my auntie turning over in her grave how she can't cook or bake anything. I went to her funeral to pay my last respect, and it was a day filled with mixed emotions.

First of all, mi never plan to cry. I was more excited to see all my family I haven't seen since I was a child. There were short runs, which turned into screams and hugs, then, of course, some selfies! Lawd, it was very festive-like. I couldn't believe we were meeting up for funeral. No one was even crying....yet!

Funeral started finally and it was like church service. It wasn't sad and mournful at all. What I found funny was that my aunt had special requests. Yup! She actually plan har funeral before she died lol. This woman serious though. I guess this was why no one was really saddened or cried. We all missed her, of course, but her spirit was so loud among us that it was like she was still there ordering us around. "listen, unuh nuh bada draw out the service. I don't want it to get boring!"

Lmao! I'm not joking. that was one of her instructions. Funeral should be short, sweet and spicy!

There was even a photographer taking pics of everything. I shared a joke with some of my other aunties, "Wonder if Aunt Sue ordered him too and if she making album so she could come back to see what took place" *Covers face*. Hey, don't blame me. The lady made her programme and basically wrote her eulogy, so what must I think! Lol!

There was this one little girl running around though. Her head did stay so bad. I had to bring her outside and drop two bad plait in har likkle head mek she look like sumady pickney lol! (That was the one part that didn't make sense to anything going on lmao!)

Tributes were given. One of her nieces recalled how she always send money 'til she stop. "I could always put on the pot and wait for the phone to ring! One time I remember she called, 'mi buy waah skirt, but it too narrow pon mi and a u alone mi know it wi fit'. She was so happy for the skirt and love it and how she just wore it last week to a convention," she said.

One other niece told a story Aunt Sue shared with her about herself and her mom who died (aunt sue's sister). She said when they were kids, their

mother send them to buy salt pork, but they were hungry, so they started sucking the salt pork lmao. Smh. The sister bit off a little piece and almost choked on it. Aunt Sue said, "pit it out; yuh too damn craven!" When they reached home the little sister asked her mom, "mama, yuh want mi wash off the pork fi yuh?" Dwl!

The tribute of the day, though, goes to my grandfather (her brother). And it went something like this, "praise the Lord! Yuh see Sue! Yuh see Suzan! Yuh see Susie! Yuh see Suzan Dawkins! (Hiss teeth) mi lub har, mi lub har, mi lub har so till! Mi love dat deh sista deh mo dan anybody else! Three day cya pass and mi nuh go look fi my sister. And anytime mi reach, she always have mi caffee ready! Yuh si fi mi sista, mi love har, but she did jealous afta mi!" The church was cracking up. Then it hit me like a tsunami. Oh snap!

My auntie is really gone. I was having my own tribute going on in my head now as I remembered how she always call me "Ms World". The tears were just flowing and I couldn't control them anymore. I guess it only takes one to start up as one girl behind me started crying too.

I couldn't believe it. I bawled so till mi couldn't even sing good lol. It nuh funny *straight face*!

People, don't take the ones in your life at face value. Love and cherish them. I tell you every week. Live good. Life is short! Happy New Year when it comes!


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