Fass and Curious: Throwing out some 'Shades'

February 19, 2017
Jamie Dornan and Dakota Johnson return as Christian Grey and Anastasia Steele in 'Fifty Shades Darker'.

Fass & Curious peeps what's going on? First of all only the mature minded people should read this week because I got grown up tea LOL! 

When last have you been to the movies? I hadn't been in a long while until last week and it was fun!  A group of us went to see 'Fifty Shades Darker'!

First of all the show was SOLD OUT for that day. The crowd was unbelievable! Everybody know how Jamaicans stay when it comes to going into an event; lawd ghad dem terrible.

No one wants to line up and everybody is pushing. The ushers couldn't control the crowd. I was trying to stay in the line but I was being pushed to and fro.

Horny Jamaicans

Felt like I was in the lunch line at school.

I never know is so Jamaican people horny, LMAO! Or is it because  it's the movie? Bwoy IDK!

All I know is every time they saw Christian's naked body or sex was about to happen, the whole theatre would erupt in excitement.

Like, they seriously went into a frenzy; it was like letting kids into a room full of candy!!!

I had muscle spasms from trying to turn my head 360 degrees just to keep up with the comments and outbursts that were being made.

It was honestly hard to watch the movie because I was so engaged in everyone else's reaction.

One woman behind me said to her girlfriend, "I thought this was a healthy movie for me to watch!" Didn't sounded like she was really bothered, she sounded flushed.

Someone else shouted out, "Time to get kinky!" This happened when Anastasia held Christian's head to her crotch and said kiss me! O-M-G!!!!!!!!

Readers, the way the people dem scream out and gwan, I was deaf for couple of minutes, me nah lie!

Someone else shouted, "A nuh fi swallow baby!" Laughter followed after!

In the middle of taking my notes to keep you people updated, one of the ushers gonna shout at me that I can't use my phone! What?

I wasn't even making a call and my screen was dimmed.

I asked her why they didn't put up sign that says no phone allowed? Her attitude was just stink and the people weren't feeling her as no one wanted to give her pass to get to my seat.

The professional thing to do was walk around and come to me directly. She thought it was cute to shout across two rows of people.

One patron shouted, "Miss tap di nize! Me pay me money fi come watch di show!" By then everyone was telling her to move out the way. 

SMH. No one cared if I was on my phone writing. They wanted to see #50ShadesDarker.

Y'all should definitely go see it!


Other Features Stories