AIDS Affair : Not ready to have sex

January 24, 2017

Dear Counsellor,

I'm a teenager and I'm not ready to have sex, but I' having sexual feelings. What should I do? Sometimes I feel left out because most of my friends are having sex. They often make me feel as if being a virgin at my age is stupid.

Concerned Virgin

Dear Concerned Virgin,

Some people handle their sexual feelings easily, while others are frightened by these sexual feelings. Some people become sexually active earlier than others. As a teenager, I think the best thing you can do is to postpone sexual activity for as long as possible. That way, you not only have a better chance of finding a lasting, loving relationship, but you won't have to worry about getting pregnant or catching sexually transmitted infections, including HIV the virus that causes AIDS. Some people never had sex until they are married.

Maybe you have spent time with friends who are always bragging about whom they had sex with, and if you had told them that you are a virgin, they would look down on you. If those are the kinds of friends you have got, maybe they are not your friends. Mature people who are sexually active don't make fun of those who don't have sex. Importantly, lots of people who say they are sexually active aren't. Many people feel the way you do.

A lot of teenagers I have talked with, who are sexually active, worry because of pregnancy, HIV and other sexually transmitted infections; and they actually think the teenagers who don't have sex are making safer, more sensible decisions. If you are not ready to have sex, you don't owe anybody a reason, and it's your choice.

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