My 69-y-o husband might be cheating


October 09, 2015

Is she pregnant for my 69-y-o husband?

Dear Pastor,

I am having a problem. I have been facing this problem for seven years. It is about my husband. He is 69 and I am 50. You would not believe that he is 69 if you didn't know his age and just looking at him. He exercises every morning and he eats sensibly. At his age, he has a lot of energy. We still have sex twice per week and he is very good. He goes to bed early. Sometimes at seven or eight o'clock he is already in bed.

The problem I am having is that this girl accused my husband of getting her pregnant. I told him he should do a DNA test when the child is born, but he doesn't agree. This man does not have a child with me. I have two children, but they are living with their grandparents on their father's side. This man seems to be happy having his name called again. Some years ago the same girl called his name. She got pregnant and although she was living with a man, she said it was my husband who got her pregnant. The baby died and I warned my husband to keep away from that girl, but he wouldn't hear.

I don't know what he sees in her. Maybe it is her bow legs and her light complexion. Anytime I go abroad and leave him, he gets mixed up with other women. I told him that if he doesn't stop, I am going to cut out his penis when he is sleeping and it is not a joke. I would do it because I am embarrassed and fed up over his behaviour and this girl doesn't care.

People say that it is my husband who is paying her rent. I have not gone to her house, but from what I heard, she is living in a well furnished place. She has no ambition. My husband could afford to keep her as his sweetheart. The more I talk is the more he is not saying anything. It is not sex because I give him what he can manage. I am not going to cheat on him. I prefer to leave. Sometimes the girl calls my house and hangs up when I answer the phone. Please, pastor, give me your advice.


Dear L.S.,

Your husband has not denied that he is having a relationship with this woman. However, he thinks that you are making too much an issue out of it. His attitude shows that he doesn't care much how you feel. However, I am not saying that he does not love you. You have not said about how old is the young woman, but at his age he should be slowing down.

Have you ever considered that this man could be doing things with this younger woman that he doesn't do with you? I would hate to judge him, but perhaps he engages in kinky sex with her? She might love him, but what she loves more is his money. If indeed he is paying her rent she would not be willing to end the relationship with him in the near future.

Are you interfering with this woman? What I am trying to ascertain is whether you are talking about her or saying unkind things about her and telling your friends that she is having a relationship with your husband. If your husband wanted to leave this woman he would have left her long time ago.

Now, even if he is having an affair with this woman it does not necessarily mean that he is responsible for her pregnancy. She may tell him so to get more money out of him and he may be very proud and feel that as an old man he still has "use". I hope that when she has given birth he would be wise enough to insist that a DNA test takes place.

I really wouldn't want to encourage you to leave your man. Hang in there and work with him and try to encourage him to seek professional help. Cursing him would not help the situation. Something is radically wrong. His name was called with the same woman and the child died. Why has he continued with her?


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