Friend with benefit seeks more

October 12, 2015

Dear Pastor,

I need your advice. I am a 26-year-old woman and sexually involved with someone. However, I constantly remind him that we are just friends with benefits. Nevertheless, he behaves as if we are together and we eventually will fall in love. I truly love him but I don't want him. Is that even possible? He is just not physically my type but in terms of personality, he scores A+. I guess I am afraid to be in public with him. I want to end the relationship but I am afraid of hurting him. What should I do?


Dear Y.B.,

You said that you are in a relationship but it's a relationship with benefits but at the same time you love this man. Evidently he is not handsome and you don't want to be seen with him in public, how sad. This man is giving you his all and the benefits you are probably enjoying is not just sex. Perhaps he is paying the rent, buying food and paying the utilities. In fact, you might not even look at his face when having sex and if were possible, you would throw a towel or engage in sexual activities in positions that you don't have to look at his face. Perhaps he has a big stomach before him. Perhaps he is short. He is really not your type of man but the money is good. I am going to be frank with you. Tell this man the relationship cannot work because he is not your type of man. I know I might sound harsh but I am trying to wake you up and to tell you that what you are doing is not right. Stop using him. Set him free. He may feel hurt but he will not die.


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