He wants time to leave his girlfriend for me

November 20, 2015

Dear Pastor,

I am 23. I started hanging out with a guy when I was approaching my 20th birthday. I met him at a birthday party. I was there without a date. He told me he was there alone because his girlfriend had to work. I didn't have a boyfriend. I liked him immediately. He was well dressed and his English was good. Those things attracted me to him.

When it was time for me to go, he offered to take me home. Instead of going straight home, we went to Port Royal for a ride. The following day he called and told me he enjoyed the time spent with me and we should do it again. I told him I would love to, but he has a girlfriend. He said anything can happen. We called each other every day.

I told my friend this guy and I were talking. She told me his girlfriend and her are cousins, so I should keep away from him. She spoke told him she would not going to allow us to go further and would have to tell her cousin what was going on. I begged her not to and said I would have done my best not to go further with our friendship. However, we did not stop seeing each other.

People saw us together and started talking. They told his girlfriend he was cheating. My lfriend turned against me. It was like I could not help myself. I had to see the guy every day. The first time we had sex, he told me he enjoyed it with more than with his girlfriend. I asked him what he was going to do. He told me to give him time. Sometimes when I did not see him, I knew he was with her. I texted him and told him that he should make up his mind.

His girlfriend called and told me I should leave her man alone, one of my own. I told her to tell him not to come back to see me, but he did not stop. He got me pregnant, but I had to do an abortion because I didn't want anybody to know.

Right now I am burning up inside because I love him so much. He is still with his girlfriend, telling me to give him some more time. Sometimes he is with the girl and at other times he is with me.

My parents believe I am his only girlfriend. They always warn me to live a clean life. I have a good job. It was not my intention to take away anybody's man. I am good looking, much more than his girlfriend, so I don't know why he is taking so long to commit himself to me. She is fat and I am slim. He lies to me a lot. I know he does.


Dear D.L.,

You have put yourself into a situation that you did not have to get into. When you met this guy you liked him. It is not unusual for a girl to like a guy only to find out he is taken. The best thing for her to do at that time is to move on, tell him that it was nice knowing him. You behaved as if you couldn't do without him, so you got deeper and deeper in the relationship.

The man told you what most men would, give him time, that things will work out. It has been a while and he is still with his girlfriend. You said she is not as good looking as you. Perhaps that's your problem. You feel this man wants you because you are good looking.

As I see it, he is not prepared to let you go because you are willing to play around with him. As long as you are willing to accommodate him, he will have you. You are better off ending this relationship because you are making a fool of yourself. Leave this man alone. Wish him well and move on.


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