She lied about pregnancy so we could get married

November 23, 2015

Dear Pastor,

I am having a problem. I am 33 and my wife and I have been married for three years. We had a private ceremony with only two witnesses because my wife told me that she was pregnant and wanted to get married before her stomach showed. She wanted to carry the pregnancy as a married woman and not have everybody talk about it. She was six weeks pregnant when we got married. I loved her so much. I never questioned anything.

We got married in the pastor's office. After we got married ,she told me that something happened. I asked her what. She said she is not pregnant anymore. I asked her what happened. She said she is having her period and it is coming full. She said she went to the doctor and the doctor said she is not pregnant. I went to my mother and talked to her about it and my mother said that this girl was fooling me, she was never pregnant.




I have now come to believe that she was anxious to get married, so she lied and said that she was pregnant so I would marry her. She thought that I would choose another girl over her. I had another girlfriend, so they were two of them. this other girl is two years older than I am and she helped me a lot. But I knew her father didn't like me because he said I was too poor for his daughter.

When I asked my wife why she had to lie about being pregnant, she said she did not lie; when her period did not come she did a pregnancy test and it showed that she was pregnant. I don't believe her. Pastor, I can't forgive myself for not checking out this thing for myself. Now that I know she is not pregnant, I find myself going to the other girl. I told her why I married my wife and she said that bad things happen to bad men. My wife is making a big stink about it and cursing the girl, saying that she is with a married man.

I told her to hurry up and get pregnant because if it doesn't happen in six months I am going to leave her. Pastor, can I get an annulment? Why should I stay with a woman who tricked me?


Dear T.L.,

You said that the woman tricked you. Looking back now, you don't believe that she had missed her period and she truly thought that she was pregnant. You believe that she tricked you because she felt that you would not marry her and she was tired of waiting. If you are indeed correct, she really got you. She has outsmarted you.

Clearly, this woman lied all the way. And many, readers I am sure, would agree that you should divorce her but I am not saying that. That's a decision you would have to make on your own. What I would encourage you to do is for both of you to see a family counsellor. In the meantime, try not to get back too close with the other woman.


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