I hope he doesn't find another woman!

December 07, 2015

Dear Pastor,

I met a guy. He is 25 and I am 19. I was single and focusing on myself because I had just broken up with my high school lover of three years and eight months. Honestly, pastor, we were not really in a relationship. I was so in love that I failed to see the truth. I guess I was young but it was only a matter of time before I saw the truth.

After we left high school he never took me out. He started working and he did not even buy me a sweet. He gave me nothing pastor. My mother used to laugh at me so four months ago I broke it off with him. This young man I met recently has a girlfriend who is leaving for the States. He told me everything. He is the quiet type. He hates the spotlight and vulgar attitude. He is just my type. He doesn't bleach his skin, no tattoo, no ear piercings and he doesn't braid his hair. He is a nice young man. My mother likes him and he has come to the house several times for dinner. I have met his mother, sister, aunt and brother so far and I must say that everything is going great.


filing started


The thing is, pastor, my mother and I are being filed for. She is married to my stepdad and filing will be complete by next April. I don't want to lose this guy even though we just

started dating for one month. He said he will try for his visa in January so he will be able to come and visit me after I leave if all goes well. Pastor, I am young and I can't afford to be running around with different men. He said he is going to marry me one day but I am not falling for that trick. I am way too smart, but I do want this to work. My problem is that I don't want him to find someone else as soon as I leave like what he did to his ex-girlfriend and she is still here because he broke it off with her already. He said she is the vulgar type and based on my understanding, his family wanted them to separate a long time ago because of how she treated him. I am currently working.

I want to do make-up artistry so I am looking for a school to attend. This guy is kind, loving and caring. I have never felt this way before based on how he treats me. I guess good things come to those who wait and I am putting God before this relationship so I hope it will work and I hope this guy keeps his words.

What do you think, Pastor? I am looking for your response. Please help me.


Dear Help,

This relationship is moving too fast. You have only known this young man for a month and already he has been to your house many times for dinner and you have introduced him to your relatives as your boyfriend and unfortunately you are swallowing whatever he tells you about his past. You are making a very serious mistake. He had a girlfriend and now that he has met you he sees everything that she has done as wrong. He didn't see them before. You say his relatives don't like the young lady but that did not prevent him from continuing with her. But now that he has met you one month ago he is behaving as if you are heaven sent and you are acting as if he is very special. You are naÔve and you are going to get hurt. This is young love. He is much older than you and he is no doubt trying to convince you that he is the best thing since sliced bread, so to speak. I would not encourage you in this relationship. I don't believe that you know this young man enough to put your confidence in him and to give him the impression that he can be your husband. Make your plans to leave this country. Do not allow the opportunity to pass. Time will prove whether this man is true and can be trusted. Correspond with him, but right now don't throw yourself to him. You will get hurt.


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