My man curses me in front of my children

December 17, 2015

Dear Pastor,

I am a big fan of your column. I am a 26-year-old mother of two. My mother died when I was 16 and everything went downhill from there. I am living with a man who is verbally abusive. This man curses me in front of my children. He has a very good job and earns a good salary. He does not give me money. He shows malice towards my children whenever we argue. He said I will never become anything in life. Sometimes I hate him. I want to leave but I don't want to take the children from their school. He is 50 years old. I recently got a job and earning a little money. He borrowed it and never gave it back to me. This man

belittles me every chance he gets. He says I am not in his class. He curses me about all the personal things that I have told him. I am trying to do a course in business studies but my little income can't do it, Pastor. I really need your advice.


Dear J.B.,

My suggestion to you is to end the relationship with this man. You are employed and your salary is not large, but one does not have to be making lots of money to support one's self. You would have to make sacrifices and have a positive attitude. This man does not respect you. If he thinks that you are a trash, why did he borrow your money? He should have gotten money from somewhere else; and, by now, he should have returned your money, anyhow, to you. He curses you. You should not be living with him. He has no respect for you or your children. He is twice your age and yet he is abusing you. He is doing so because he believes that you cannot help yourself and you are giving him the impression that you are helpless. Well, I am here to tell you that you are not helpless. You should stand up to this man. You may have to consider going back to your parents or to rent a place and share with another woman, but you cannot stay with this man. Stand up for your rights. Demand your money from him. Stop telling yourself that you don't have anywhere to go. Look around and find a place. Talk to your girlfriends. You could find a girl who is willing to share rent with you. Your children should not be hearing the nasty things this man tells you. Get out now, but find a place not far away from where the children attend school.


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