He married another woman behind my back


January 08, 2016

Dear Pastor,

I am 30. I have two children. My man promised he would have married me. I believed him. He bought the rings and showed them to me. I told him to give them to me, but he said they were too expensive, he didn't want anybody to steal them.

We were not living together, but he spends lots of nights at my house. He called every night, wherever he was. The type of job he does causes him to be all over the country.

One night when he was with me, he was very tired. I went into his phone. I saw pictures of him with a child. I became suspicious. I also saw text messages and pictures of a woman's private parts. The girl also showed her face. We talked about it. He told me it was his brother's child. I asked him about the pictures. He said girls send him these types of pictures. all the time, but I shouldn't worry.

I spoke to my brother, who does the same type of work. My brother told me he knows he has other women, but it is not for him to tell me what to do.

From the day when I went into his phone, he has kept his phone locked. I asked him when would we get married. He said as soon as he got his 'partner' money. He has two draws to get.

The next thing I knew, he got married to the girl I saw in his phone, and the baby is his. He is blaming me, telling me he had to get with the girl because I was too miserable. I am so depressed. He swore he did not have another woman I was the only woman in his life. Please tell me what to do.


Dear L.M.,

If you have not gone to see a family counsellor or a psychologist, you should do so. You have to be very careful not to become so depressed you end up in the hospital.

This man is wicked. Those rings he showed you were not bought for you. They were bought for the other woman. He had that other woman while he had you. He would not have made you a good husband, so, though you are feeling depressed because he dumped you, he might have done you a great favour by ending the relationship. You might not have been progressive if the relationship had continued.

I will not tell you not to cry, because you are human. What I will say is, go and see a counsellor, as soon as possible, and learn how to cope your situation. Be careful what you say about him in the presence of your children.


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