I am a Christian but hate my aunt


January 12, 2016

Dear pastor,

Greetings in the name of Jesus. I have been a reader of your column for many years. I am seeking your advice. When I was a kid my sisters and I slept together. We were packed into one room. When my mother's boyfriend was not visiting, some of us would sleep on her bed. My mother use to run us out at times.

We used to feel up our sisters and they used to feel us up, but we never talked on each other. I had sex with two of my sisters. The first time it happened my sister was about 12 and the other was 13-plus.

My aunt felt sorry for us when she came back from England. She had space, so she took two of my sisters to live with her. My sisters told my aunt what used to happen. My aunt told my mother. I told my mother it was not true. My aunt had it spreading, making it bad for my sisters. Some of their friends heard and condemn them. I hate my aunt. My mother defended me. We were just kids, playing around. I am not proud of what I did.

I have three children, two girls and a boy. I don't let them bathe or sleep together because I know better now. When I was growing up, we were poor and I used to see my sisters bathe when they were growing. They used to sleep, sometimes, without panties. They used to even play with my penis. I am a Christian now but I cannot love my aunt, because she took family business on the road and made people believe I am bad. It is not true. We did not know better. She should not blame my mother because she was poor and didn't get the opportunity she did.

My sisters and I talk about what we used to do. They don't hold anything against me and I do not hold anything against them, but I hold it against my aunt. Her mouth runs and she can't control it. She has her little money and wants everyone to bow down to her. That is why her husband left her, years ago, and has nothing to do with her. Pastor, keep up the good work.


Dear W.T,

I have said, on many occasions, that poor housing accommodation may contribute to immoral behaviour. The poor conduct of your sisters and yourself was because of the condition under which you lived.

Your mother evidently relied on men to help her. She could hardly accommodate them and hardly had privacy. You, the children, knew exactly what was going on. I understand that brothers and sisters who sleep together when they are young are curious, look at each other, play with each other genitals and, often, have sex. This is what you said had happened.

It is unfortunate your aunt spread this around. You said your mother is the only one in the family defending you. I believe your mother knows the truth but is ashamed.

Your aunt could have handled this much better. I am glad things are different at your house. I am also glad the relationship between your sisters and yourself is good. I hope you will try to strengthen the family relationship and, as a Christian, try to love your aunt though you feel she has done you wrong. Please help your mother as much as you can.


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