I feel like cheating

January 29, 2016

Dear pastor,

I am concerned I am in need of advice. I have been with my boyfriend for two years. I love him, but sometimes he makes me feel like cheating.

We don't go out often. The only time I really see him is when we are going to have sex. I will go to his house to spend a couple days. However, when I am not around him, I get frequent phone calls. He treats me great when I am around him.

Sometimes when I am at his house, he leaves in the night to hang with his friends. He has other relatives in the house with me, but I don't really talk to them, so I feel lonely. When we just started talking, he was jealous. I avoided all my ex-boyfriends to prevent us from arguing.

He accused me of cheating every day I am not cheating. If he calls and gets no answer, he uses disrespectful words.

There is an ex I can't get over. I saw him one day and he asked me for my number and I gave it to him. I am tempted to have sex with him but, because of my boyfriend, I haven't. He accuses me so much of cheating, I am thinking of doing so.

Pastor, I love him dearly. Do you believe this relationship will work? He is the one I want to spend the rest of my life with. What do you think we can do to make it work? I am trying my best to get over my ex.


Dear K.W,

Your boyfriend has taken you for granted. He accuses you of cheating, but, at the same time, does not spend much time with you. He calls you often but, whenever you go to see him, he does not value your visit. He is a silly man.

You made a mistake by giving one of your ex-boyfriends your number. You shouldn't have done that, you should have known he was going to constantly call you, even try to renew the relationship. You made a big mistake. The love for this ex-boyfriend is still strong. If you continue to talk to him, or respond to him, you may end up in bed. Please stop calling him. Ask him to stop calling you. If he continues, block his number.

Your boyfriend does not value the relationship. He sees you as a woman with whom he can have sex whenever he wants excitement. You want more than that, you want him to spend quality time and take you out.

Stop going to his house. Tell him if he wants you, he has to change. Tell him you love him, but you do not feel loved. Nor are you happy at the house with his relatives. Tell him if he truly wants you, you should seek a family counsellor and plan your future together.


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