Why do men cheat?


February 05, 2016

Dear Pastor,

I am a student from a prominent high school. I do special studies. My studies include examining why men cheat. I have been reading your column for years, and I would like you to answer a few questions.

These questions include: Why do men cheat?

Why do they praise themselves for cheating?

Is there a direct link between why men cheat and the fact that Solomon had a couple with hundred concubines?

What are some possible solutions for cheating men?

I would be delighted a quick response. Thank you for your time and sorry for any inconvenience I may have caused.


Dear R.W.,

First of all, I wish you well in your studies. There are many reasons why men cheat. You may be shocked to hear me say that some men do not consider one woman enough for them.

Men are easily led astray by beautiful women. In fact, women don't even have to be beautiful. Men are aroused and tempted by sight. So if a woman has a beautiful body, a lovely shape, etc., men would admire her and desire to get in her pants.

Sex is a big problem for some men. Survey after survey has shown that sex and money are the greatest problems in a relationship. A man doesn't have to love a woman to have sex with her. Sex has little to do with love.

If a man feels that he is not getting enough sex from his wife, he is likely to cheat. If he is unhappy with the way that she does it, he is likely to cheat.

Sexual positions mean a lot to men. There are some women who like to have sex in one position. That turns men off. Men love excitement, and if their wives do not bring that extra excitement to them, they will cheat.

Men who do not cheat are seen as as idiots and 'soft'. Some men cheat because their friends have told them that it strengthens the relationship that they have with their wives. Some want to get the experience of how it feels to be a cheater.

Some men cheat because women throw themselves at them. Some women even offer them money. They brag about cheating because it makes them feel powerful and special. I must also add that some men cheat ibecause of what their female partners have done to them. They cheat because everybody is doing it, they say.

Men need to be shown good reasons why they should not cheat. A good relationship is based on trust and respect. Cheating destroys trust, and it is not easy to rebuild trust. Sometimes it may take years of counselling. Sometimes, the relationship is destroyed. Therefore, it is better for a man to walk away from the temptation than to cheat.

Temptation can be so very strong. Men should not put themselves in the position where they will cheat. They shouldn't associate themselves with friends who encourage them to cheat.

Solomon had 700 wives and 300 concubines. Men try to use Solomon as an example of why they should have many women.

I cannot tell whether Solomon had sex with all of these women. I know there was only one Solomon. Though God allowed him to have all these women, God did not approve of such a lifestyle. Men should not follow his example in the society in which we live today.


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