I'm going to put my man on probation


March 08, 2016

Dear Pastor,

I have learned the hard way that money becomes more important than sex when you have needs such as money to pay your rent. My rent was almost due, and I tried to be proactive. I asked my boyfriend for some help before it was due. I kept reminding him that I needed the money. He did not say anything. A day before it was due, I asked him again and he told me that he was broke. I had to call my dad for help. I felt very small and worthless. I felt unimportant, like I was nobody.

I didn't hold what happened against my boyfriend. I just felt awful. I have been living on my own and paying my own bills up to last month, and it was the first time that I was asking him to help me to pay my rent. My rent is $11,000 and he helped me with $5,000 in January 2016; that's the only time that he has ever helped me. I asked again in February and he said that he was not able to assist me. This man does not give me money or take me to the supermarket. He gives me what he wants when he feels like it. I am not a street girl who can go out on the street and hustle at nights. Suppose I did not get the money on time? This man is not there for me. I like the sex a lot and he loves it also, and that is all he cares about. I go to his apartment and I clean it and I have to clean mine also. It has been three years since we have been together and the only thing that he has given me is a bracelet, and I am about to throw it back at him. At nights, he calls me and asks me for sex. I am going to tell him to come and I will give him the impression that I am going to give sex to him, and when he gets here, I am going to tell him that I have changed my mind. I came here to establish a future with this man but he has messed me up far too much. He is 43 years old. He wants to have sex with me and gives me no money. If he gives me money, then I would know that he cares for me. I am going to put him on probation.


Dear K.,

It seems to me that you have been doing your best on your own, but you do need a little help from your boyfriend. He has taken you for granted. Frankly, he does not behave like he cares. You have been very helpful to him. You take care of his apartment and you do not demand much from him. He should have paid the rent for you because it is only $11,000 and if a man cannot find $11,000 to give his woman to pay her rent, she should know that she would suffer at his hand. A good woman is worth more than $11,000 per month.

You are attending school. I hope that you do well. But I must congratulate you for fighting on. I am glad that your father is able to help you. Try to get a part-time job and continue to go to school. And please don't allow this man to use you anymore.


Other Tell Me Pastor Stories