Taking care of an abusive boyfriend


March 16, 2016

Dear Pastor,

I have a problem with my boyfriend. We have one child. He doesn't support the child yet he works every day.

He has another girlfriend, but they do not have children. He and I had an argument. I told him he should leave me and go to his woman.

He called me stupid to believe he would leave me.

He doesn't want to leave me because he has everything to his comfort. My place belongs to my parents. I know they will give it to me because we have a family home plus this apartment. I am their only child.

One day my mother saw some marks on my neck. She asked me what happened. I lied. My mother did not believe me. She told my father, who asked me. I could not lie to my father so I told him the truth. He went to my boyfriend and told him that he would 'take him out' if he hit me again.

I was trembling because he means whatever he says whenever he talks. My father told me I should leave him. He is begging me not to, asking me to forgive him. I want my son to grow with his father and mother.

My father doesn't even ask me for him whenever we meet or speak on the telephone. Do you think I should leave this man? Sometimes I am confused.


Dear MA.,

The decision is totally yours. This man is evidently living like a king. He doesn't have to pay rent or mortgage, so he is living for free. The money he would have used to pay rent or mortgage should be saved, so he will be in a good position to buy his own house. He should have been very proud of you, supporting his child well and contributing to the home. If he doesn't give you any money, you are paying for utilities and buying groceries to feed a man who is having an affair with another woman.

This man is walking on his head. How could such an idiot lift his hand to hit or physically abuse you in any way?

I can imagine how angry your father is with him and why he threatened to 'out his light'. I hope your father does not get himself into trouble. You should seriously consider doing what your father suggested.


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