I am having sex with two men

March 19, 2016

Dear Pastor,

My life is in misery. I could write a book. I was involved with two men at the same time. My 'rightful' boyfriend did not know but the other man knew I was involved.

Over time, I started taking things from this man because I was in need. My boyfriend could not support me that much. I needed the help.

To cut a long story, short, the other man got my boyfriends number and told him about our involvement. My boyfriend was hurt but managed to forgive me.

We decided to try again. However, the other man would not leave me alone. We argued and he threatened me numerous times. I became afraid of him but allowed the relationship to continue.




For a second time, my boyfriend became aware that this man and I were having a relationship. It is tearing him apart. The other man controls my life because he is supporting me in some ways. I don't know what to do.

I am working but I can accommodate a second job to support myself. I hate to depend on people. I have a child attending school. It is hard. I get little support from his father. I have to pay rent and other bills so I can't manage at all.


Dear Anonymous,

I withheld your initials. I do not want any member of the public to know who wrote me this letter. I must say that you have a decent boyfriend. Without a doubt, he loves you. I am sure he wants to give you more financial assistance.

It is, indeed, a pity you have been sexually involved with another man, who determined to destroy your life.

He is not a good man. The relationship you have is not commendable, but his action shows either he want your boyfriend to physically abuse you or he wants to let him know you're like a floor mat.

He is a dirty guy, so to speak. He wants your boyfriend to leave you, so he took a nasty approach by informing your boyfriend that you are having an affair.




Of course, you are not blameless. You should not be sexually involved with two men at the same time. I repeat, your boyfriend is a good man. He did not raise a finger at you, he forgave you.

However, you have continued to play the fool by being intimate with this other guy. You said you are afraid of him. I put it to you that it is much more than that because you made it clear that you find it difficult to do without his financial support. If you don't stop, I am afraid something bad is going to happen in this love triangle.

Frankly, I would tell your boyfriend to leave you now that he has come to realise you are still with this guy. If you truly wanted to end the relationship, you should tell him no matter what his threats are, you are finished with him.

You should report his threats to the police and assure your boyfriend you are done with him. Unless you are willing to do so, your true boyfriend should leave you.


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