I am eager to give my husband a child


April 04, 2016

Dear Pastor,

I am 28 years old and my husband is 29. We met each other in church and courted for three years. We did not have sex until six months before we got married. My husband said that we could take the chance because if I got pregnant, we were going to be married anyway. One night before we got married we were together and it almost happened. He should not have been there, but I was babysitting for a friend and I told him to come over. We were watching movies together and got carried away. It was the first time I saw a man masturbate. My fiancE just pulled down his zip and stood right before me and masturbated. He told me that I should masturbate too. I tried, but I did not want to remove my pants. After he masturbated, he left and I cried. I told him that we should stop fooling around and get married.

When we went to our pastor, we told him that we wanted to be engaged. He discouraged us from getting engaged until we fixed a date for marriage. He said engagements can be very dangerous because couples get themselves into trouble after they are engaged. We told him that we would not get into trouble and he said he hoped not. When we think of it now, we are glad that we did not have children outside of wedlock. We were just fortunate. We could have started to have sex earlier. We are concerned now because since we have been married, we have not been using any protection and I have not got pregnant. The doctor says that we should continue to try. My husband is anxious to father a child.

His brother, who is younger, got married after us and his wife is now pregnant. He asked his brother what is the secret and his brother told him to eat lots of fish. When I see my friends with their children, I wish I had mine. Can you give me your advice?


Dear N.O.,

The only advice I wish to give you is to relax and follow the advice of your doctor. You might consider changing doctors. It's not wrong to seek a second opinion. You have not been married for a very long time and while some women become pregnant soon after marriage, others take a longer time. So, relax. Don't allow stress to take over your lives. You are likely to get pregnant if nothing is wrong with your husband or yourself.


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