I don't like my man's behaviour


April 08, 2016

Dear Pastor,

I am seeking help with my relationship. A couple weeks ago, I found out that my boyfriend has another girl.

I texted her and disrespected her. She replied that her babyfather doesn't want me.

To cut a long story short, I texted her back and we were there arguing until she started posting pictures online of her and my man.

I am so stressed by the situation, as I have known this guy for more than four years. I love him so much. I have lived with him for a couple months, but he has been sleeping out.

I confronted him about the girl and the pictures. He told me he had asked her to take them down but she only took down one.

I have been speaking with friends about the situation but I don't know what else to do. He doesn't know what he wants.

I don't know what to do anymore, it's like I'm lost. We have built a foundation together, if you know what I mean. I risked my life for this boy. We have been through a lot.

He told my friends that he wants someone to care for him - cook, wash and clean - and that is why he did what he did.

I told him I'm willing to meet his needs if he would just stay loyal. Today, I saw where his father posted a picture online with my man and the girl, saying 'my family'. I was so hurt. His father has been fighting against me for a long time. He would do anything for me not to be with his son. I know my man still cares for me because he still calls.

I told him a lie to see how he would react, and that's how I know that he still cares for me. Please help us out.


Dear T.H.,

This relationship is not going anywhere. This man does not care for you. His family does not care for you either. You are fighting a losing battle.

I know you will not necessarily like what I am saying to you, but it is the truth and the sooner you come to realise you are wasting time with this man would be better for you.

If this man is telling your friends he wants a woman who will cook, wash and clean for him, he is indicating that you have not done these things therefore he does not consider you a good woman who is capable of taking care of him and his home.

Evidently you have not been good in doing these things because you have not considered him to be loyal and faithful to you.

I don't think I need to say much more but to encourage you to move on and stop wasting time with this man.

You said you have been together for four years, but you have only lived together for a few months. You may consider these years as wasted, but really they are not.

You have gained experience that may help you to chart a better future with another man. Don't try to fight his other girlfriend. She will win the battle because he will be on her side.


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