Nobody likes my girlfriend!


April 08, 2016

Dear Pastor

Congratulations on your good work. I am 22. I have a girlfriend. She is my first girlfriend but I am not her first. She is a Christian now but she use to work as a dancer before she got converted. She is 19. Everybody in my family is against me because I am in love with this girl. Even the pastor at church told me I should watch her because she may change into her old ways.

This girl is always in church and sings well. When you hear her testimony in church it moves you. I just love her. My mother told me if that is my choice she has nothing to say.

I am living at my parents' home. This girl doesn't have a good family background and is the only one who is a Christian where she is living. After church every Sunday she comes home with me and helps my mother to cook.

The relationship is six months' old. I don't like to ask her about her past because she always cries. She told me she had an abortion because a married man got her pregnant. I don't hate her for that. I see us having a good future together.

I told my pastor I am surprised he would want to choose for me. He told me he is not doing that but I should remember the girl's background. How do you feel about my situation?


Dear C.S.,

Stay with your girlfriend. You got a member of your family, your mother, on your side.

Other family members are discouraging you. They want you to leave this young woman, but your mother has welcomed her into the family and that is encouraging.

Your girlfriend has had a rough past and did a few things which are not commendable, including becoming pregnant for a married man and aborting the pregnancy.

It is likely he encouraged her to do so to save his marriage. All that is behind her now. She is in church and is endeavouring to serve the lord.

From the tone of your letter, she found you in church. You can be of great help for her in the church. Do not hold anything against your pastor. He knows the background of this girl and knows that you are a young and inexperienced man. He was only giving you a word of caution. What he said to you is not an indication that he hates this young woman, not at all. He is only trying to tell you to be wise.

He could have approached the matter in a different way. He could have suggested and invited both of you to come in for a counselling sections. As I said, I am sure he meant you no harm.


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