Rethinking my girlfriend

April 11, 2016

Dear Pastor,

I graduated from university three years ago. I am from Jamaica. My girlfriend is from another Caribbean island. She went back to her, country. She also encouraged me to come and live there. I visited her but I did not like it. She got a job, but I didn't feel comfortable. Her mother likes me. Her parents are separated. I met her father, but he did not say much to me.

This young woman is close to her mother. Her mother is her advisor. Everything we talk about, she tells her mother. Sometimes the mother subtly says some thing about Jamaicans, but we get along fine. I did not make any promises to this young woman. At times, I think of marrying her, but I am looking at it in a different manner.

I am now dating a Jamaican girl. Do you think I should tell her what I am doing? I don't want to cause her to go crazy. Please advise me.


Dear H.T.,

I suggest that you tell this young lady that the relationship cannot work. It is wrong for you to give her the impression that all is well and there is hope for both of you to be together. You have already started to date someone from your country. She is probably not seeing anybody, so stop fooling her. Tell her the truth and move on.

Concerning the relationship that she has with her mother, you shouldn't try to come between the both of them. It is good for mother and daughter to be close. She confides in her mother and nothing is wrong with that. Please do not delay in informing this young woman of your decision. Tell her it has nothing to do with the young woman that you have started to date. In fact, you probably should not even mention her, but if you are asked if you are seeing anyone, admit it.


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