Sister's man caught me having sex


April 13, 2016

Dear Pastor,

This is the first time I have written for your advice. I am 42 years old and living with my sister and her boyfriend. They are only giving me a little shelter until I can help myself.

I got myself into a little trouble and had to run away, but everything is settled now.

I have three children, but their mother and myself were not getting along. Now she has another man. The children love me and I love them. I support them with the little money I make. On weekends they come to see me and I take them out for ice cream, etc. My sister is very good to them also.

I have a new woman in my life, but somebody told her I am a thief so she is backing away from me. I told her I was a thief, but I don't steal anymore. She said a thief is always a thief. I love her, but my sister's boyfriend told me to stop seeing her because she does not trust me. I could not visit her where she is so she came to see me. One evening we were sitting under the ackee tree behind the house. It started to get a little dark so we decided to have sex.

My sister's boyfriend came home and, as bad luck would have it, he came around the back and saw this woman and I having sex.

He told my sister. She said I am embarrassed her because I could have taken the young woman to a brothel if I wanted to have sex.

I did not know that her boyfriend would have told her.

I asked him why he did that to me. He said he told me to leave the girl alone.

Since then,I cannot like him. He even told her how he saw me put the woman.

She had on a pants, she had to take off, so he saw her half-naked.

I did not have on any pants either.

When he saw us he turned his flashlight on. The young woman was so embarrassed. She is coming around now. I think I am going to have to get out of my sister's house.

I have nothing against my sister because she has helped me a lot. The woman has three children. They all live at her mother's home.


Dear S.F.,

Your sister's boyfriend chats too much. He did not have to tell your sister what he saw you and your girlfriend doing. He should have known that would have embarrassed her.

I don't want you to misunderstand me. I am not saying what you did was right. It was not the most convenient place for you to be having sex with your woman, but I suppose you felt it was private enough, behind the house, under the ackee tree. Your sister said you should have taken her to a brothel. You must know why you did not do so.

Right now, you should humble yourself. Tell your sister you know you have embarrassed her, but will do better.

Your woman friend is not sure you have put your stealing past behind you. She heard that you are a thief, so it was natural for her to enquire whether you have stopped stealing.

Don't hold that against her at all. She is a wise woman. You will have to prove yourself to her and that could take time.

I hope she doesn't end the relationship with you. She is ashamed because your brother-in-law saw you having sex and reported it to your sister.

Your girlfriend might never come back to the house, but I cannot encourage you to drop her. She hasn't done you any wrong.

I hope the day will come when you will be earning enough to move out of your sister's house. It will take time, but if you are wise you will use whatever you are earning intelligently. Make sure you save a little every week. I wish you well.


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