My wife changed after we got married


April 18, 2016

Dear Pastor,

I am 65 years old and I listen to you every night. I was married for 30 years, but my wife died. I got married for the second time when I was 60 and the lady was 40. She was so nice and kind to me and she asked me to marry her. I considered it because I do not have children and I believed that she would continue to take care of me. I used to live in America but I am now living in Jamaica as a pensioner.

From the time I got married, this woman has changed. She wants to control me and my money. She doesn't want to see any woman come around me when I go to church. If I am talking to a sister, she finds herself nearby to hear what I am saying to the person or what the person is saying to me. I told her I don't like that but she said I shouldn't keep secrets from her. Talking to a church sister does not mean that we are talking anything that is secret.

The women in the church get to know her and sometimes they do things to tease her, especially one sister who is younger than her. Sometimes she would pretend as if she is dusting something off my jacket when nothing is there to dust off. She told me if this sister doesn't stop she is going to physically assault her. This woman is embarrassing me, so, pastor, give me your advice and please keep up the good work.


Dear I.W.,

I want to believe that you are not guilty of anything and I trust that you are not doing anything to provoke this jealousy. On the other hand, this woman might feel threatened when she sees how friendly you are with the church sisters. Her jealousy is getting the better of her and jealousy is not something that is easily overcome. Some persons get into rage when they believe that they have a right to be jealous over any particular event or thing.

Already, your wife has threatened to physically assault one of the church sisters. You need to be gracious to the sisters but at the same time, while you warmly embrace them, maintain your distance. You cannot be cold to anybody, especially those who are brothers and sisters within the local church.

Your wife is afraid that she may lose you to one of the women within the church. Therefore, I suggest that both of you make an appointment to see a family counsellor who will be able to assess the situation and provide more specific guidance.


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