My boyfriend is twice my age, and married


April 19, 2016

Dear Pastor,

I am 18 years old and I am having a little problem. My boyfriend is twice my age and he is married. I met him one day when I followed a friend to see her boyfriend. We started to talk and I told him that I am from the country and I did not want to go back, but I didn't have anywhere to stay. He told me that he could get somewhere for me to stay for the night. I turned down his offer because I was staying with my friend. We called each other every day and that was when he told me he was married. I told my friend that he was married and she didn't see anything wrong with that.

He promised that he would get me a place to stay. He found me a place to board and he went to my mother in the country and told her that he would help to take care of me, but he did not tell her that he is married and I did not tell her either. My mother said that she would want to know the lady who would board me. I did not tell my boyfriend about that, but I gave her the lady's number after I started to live here. It was the lady who told my mother that my boyfriend was married, because she knows his wife. The lady told me that I should go back to my mother because this guy is only using me. I have a boyfriend in the country and he didn't want me to come to Kingston. I thought I was doing something to help myself. Pastor, please tell me what to do.


Dear L.K.,

You were fooled by this man, but don't be too hard on yourself. You can plan to return to your mother as soon as possible. And I say as soon as possible because I believe that this man would have to give you the money to go home. However, if you were to tell him that you are going home, he may try to prevent you from doing so. The owner of the house seems to be a very fair and understanding woman, and it is unlikely that she would tell your boyfriend that you are planning to leave. Therefore, you should let her know that you are going to leave and ask her to help you to get away without this man knowing about it. I know that you mean well. You wanted to get an opportunity to go to school and so on in Kingston, but this man has tricked you. You have a boyfriend in rural Jamaica. He is going to question why you are back. You don't have to tell him everything except to say that plans did not work. I wish you well. Take good care of yourself and let me hear from you again.


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