I don't want to leave since he took my virginity


April 20, 2016

Dear Pastor,

I am 18. I have a boyfriend who is 19. He is very jealous. He doesn't want me to talk to any other man.

One day I was talking to a man. After the man left, he asked who he was. I told him, "a friend", and he hit me.

I told him my father had never hit me so I don't want any man to hit me. He raised his hand again, I pulled away and pulled out my scissors.

I told him I would stab him. From that day he and I have not got along.

He took my virginity when I was 16. No other boy has got me to have sex. I always say no to guys when they ask me. I don't think I like him so much again. Every time I think of how I let him have sex with me and now we are not getting along. I want to know what to do.


Dear Y.S.,

This young man was out of order. I commend you for putting a stop to his ugly behaviour immediately. He had no right to hit you. Even if you had done something he considered wrong, he shouldn't have hit you.

Even if you were a bad girl, which you are not, hitting you would not prevent you from being bad.

I cannot encourage you to walk with anything that you might be tempted to use to physically harm another person. Frankly, you should end the relationship with this young man. I know you are reluctant to do so because he was the first man with whom you had sex, but don't hang on because of that.

Move on. He is not an intelligent man. You would want an intelligent man to be your partner for life. By the way, you are still a very young woman. You don't need to feel that something is wrong if you don't have an intimate boyfriend.


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