I took too long to give him a baby!


April 20, 2016

Dear Pastor,

I am 20. I enjoy reading your column. I am trying to get pregnant because my boyfriend, who is 30, is pressuring me for a baby. He is working and has his own house. He said he cannot wait any longer to have a child.

I was on birth control but came off because I don't want to lose him.

Now that I have decided to allow him to get me pregnant, he told me another girl is pregnant for him. When I asked him why he did that to me, he said I was always not sure whether I wanted to get pregnant. He is a nice man. Where we are living is nice. My friends tell me I am a lucky girl. I am about to lose everything. He is said the other girl will have to live with him. She is 18.

I told him she is not coming in the house. It is going to be war between us. I am not joking. I want to know what right I have because I take care of him and the house. He does not pay me as a helper. I don't want to be paid as his helper because I am his woman. I never cheated on him. I did not know he was cheating on me with this girl. I need your advice.


Dear O.A.,

I doubt very much you can force this man to pay you for the time you have been with him. You are his companion and girlfriend. He has been taking care of you. You haven't said you were in need.

You said he does not pay you as a helper but you were never his helper. I am sure he gives you money. If he didn't, you would have said so. He was eager to father a child. Perhaps he sees himself getting old. Therefore, he would like to have a child before he goes into his 40s.

While he was having the relationship with the woman, he was having sex with you. He should have told you about her. He has not been fair to you. However, fight in to stay with him at the house is a waste of time. Perhaps you should try to reason with him. Ask him to give you enough money so you can move on and rent a place to live.

However, if he wants you out of his house you should leave peacefully.

I don't think this man is saying the love he has for you has died.

What he is probably saying is that the other woman is carrying his child and his commitment is towards her and, not you, at this time. I repeat, reason with him and try to convince him that he ought to help you to set up yourself, so to speak.

Don't threaten him or the young lady who is pregnant. It will only cause him to harden his heart against you.


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