I am thinking about divorcing my husband!


April 29, 2016

Dear Pastor,

I am having a problem. Please try your best to help me. I have been married for 20 years. My husband is 65. I am 45.

My husband is a gambler and a womaniser. We have five children. My husband got three children with other women. He stopped having sex with me long ago. If you were to hear him curse me, you would wonder. He says I am stretched out.

He calls me 'big' and tells me that he can get any young girl. Sometimes I am so embarrassed. When he wants to curse me, he curses and tells me about my private part.

I got a visa, went away and stayed two months with my sister. He called my sister and told her that he had changed. My sister told me not to go back but he kept begging me. He told me he had left all the girls, we were going to live a decent life and go to church.

I came home but before I left my sister told me not to go back to him, nor bother to call and beg her to take me back.

Three months after I returned, he started to curse me again. A girl came with a baby girl, called him out and told him to take the baby because she didn't have money to buy food for the baby. He went away with her and I have never seen the girl again.

Pastor, I would love to get a divorce from this man. Do you think I can get it? I can't take it anymore.


Dear E.R.,

You have gone through a lot. You have tried to live with him. He has embarrassed and has treated you worst than a floor mat. He has absolutely no respect for you.

No man should curse a woman and tell her about her private parts. You have really tried and your sister has tried to help you by giving you a break from this man.

I am sure you enjoyed spending the time with her in North America. You have not mentioned whether this man and you have gone to see a counsellor.

Perhaps, he may even go with you if you are trying to leave him. He realises you may make promises to do better but not keep them.

Nevertheless, I think that is the route to take before you file for divorce. Whether you agree to go for counselling, I won't discourage you from divorcing him.


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