I love my boyfriend...but


April 29, 2016

Dear Pastor,

I was born in Jamaica butI grew up in America. I went to school in America and grew among my father's family.

I started having sex when I was 16. I am 23. I have had six serious boyfriends. The last two cared about me. Both offered to marry me. I turned the last one down because he was involved with drugs. I knew drugs was not something to get involved with.

When I told him we could not continue being lovers, he cursed then threatened me. My people had to get involved before he backed off.

I have another boyfriend. All he wants from me is sex but in a good way. He doesn't like to go out. I can go out with my friends and stay as long as I want. I can do anything. He doesn't question me. I have never cheated on him. He works hard, he is 27. He has a son who lives with his mother.

I am working but he takes care of all the bills. Some of my friends don't think he is boring. I must tell you that he is white. All of my other boyfriends were black. It is just that I like fun.

When I am out, my girlfriends have their men with them while mine is at home. Some of their guys are hitting on me. Most of them have nothing. My boyfriend has his own home and is a wise investor. For my birthday, he bought me shares in a company. No man had ever done that for me. I thought he would have bought me clothes or jewellery.

Pastor, when it comes to lovemaking he is not as good as some of the guys I gone to bed with, especially the one who deals with drugs. I enjoy making love to him but sometimes I miss the hard pumping. Do you think that I should stick with this guy? I really love him but there is a big but.


Dear G.C,

You are fortunate to have met this man and to be having a relationship with him.

He has not questioned you a lot about your past. He has not tried to prevent you from going out. He has not tired, either, to choose the friends you keep. He is a wise man. He trusts you. Therefore, you need to be thankful he is not the type of man who wants to control you.

Although you are working, he pays all the bills. Not many men would be willing to do so especially if their women are working.

The guys who know you and are aware that you are living with your boyfriend and have been tempting you to become intimate with them. If you were to do so, you would be destroying the good relationship which you have with your boyfriend.

You may say, how would he know? He may not know right away but it would rest on your conscience and you may finally decide to confess and leave, so just ignore them.

You said your boyfriend is white. He doesn't like to party a lot but doesn't stop you. You are concerned because, in love making, he is not as rough as some of the guys with whom you have had sex. You have enjoyed, in the past, 'rough rides'.

I think I understand what you are trying to say. However, I don't think that being Caucasian is the problem. Perhaps, it is just that he is not in the 'pumping'. He makes love but does not 'jam'.

If this man offers to marry you, you should accept his offer. Don't be foolish. Use common sense.


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