I think my boyfriend wants to leave me


May 02, 2016

Dear Pastor,

I'm writing to you now with tears in my eyes. I have been facing some problems with my parents and my so-called boyfriend, who is 20 years old. I am 19 years old and the only child for my parents. Now, where to start? I don't know if I'm getting the sign that I am not wanted from my boyfriend. But these days I have noticed some changes in his behaviour. For example, we had sex last night and he went to sleep immediately afterwards. I was awake, so I turned to him and said, "I love you" three times. After the last 'I love you', his only response was to kiss me on my forehead as if he was showing me pity. I slapped him and asked him if he did not hear me the first time. He told me to stop tormenting him. I slapped him again and repeated my question and he elbowed me in my chest. He works, but only on and off. He does not support me in any way, not even emotionally. When I joke with him about becoming pregnant, just to gauge his reaction, his response is poor. I am in love with this guy, but he is giving me the impression that he no longer wants to be involved with me. Please reply soon.


Dear S.W.,

You say that you have seen changes in your boyfriend's behaviour, but you haven't mentioned what are the changes. You haven't given any examples. Perhaps after having sex with you, this young man was very tired and all he wanted to do was sleep. Perhaps when you told him that you loved him, instead of verbally answering you, he kissed you on your forehead. That was his way of saying yes. And when you insisted that you wanted a verbal response, he considered that harassment. You slapped him, but he did not slap you back. He elbowed you, so to speak, and that was his way of telling you not to slap him. You are young and energetic. This man is also young, but he probably gave his all when he had sex with you and felt he needed to sleep to rejuvenate. In this relationship, you are thinking long term and this man is not yet preparing for a long-term relationship or commitment. So, you probably scared him when you talked about wanting a baby and although you say that you didn't mean it, he cannot be sure of that. If you do not stop harassing him, you will lose him.


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