My boss keeps hitting at me
I have been reading your column since I was a teenager. Please keep up the good work. I have an issue at work. I have been working for an executive for nearly nine years. I came to the States to attend university. My manager was very generous to me over the years, of which I appreciated because I am a divorced mother.
I tried to leave the department on two separate occasions and he lied to me about the positions I wanted, so I stayed.
This man showed up at my home, uninvited, last summer to deliver books to my child. This man has had his eyes on me for years. I am going to be 46 in a few weeks. I am not a kid.
I exercise five or six days a week and take very good care of myself. I don't look my age, but I am still not interested in someone else's man. I have not had sex since divorced, eight years and counting.
I was very annoyed that he came to my home uninvited. After he showed up at my home, he started buying me lunch and telling me about the expensive restaurants in our neighbourhood. Unfortunately, I live 10 minutes from him. If I don't talk to him I can see his spoiled-brat attitude coming out. He watches what I eat, what I wear and how I spend my money and is very open in the office with his behaviour.
He calls to let me know to take the local route to work because there is traffic. He emails me at midnight and on weekends.
Pastor, I endured five months of him getting on my nerves. He went away to another country for four months to work on a deal but I still had to deal with him.
I am not interested in this man because he is married and is my boss. He came back to the office this week. I did not talk to him. I tried to ignore him the entire time. I am in the process of finding another job, but what if I don't? The job market here is so depressing. He is coming back in two months' and I know I won't be able to ignore him forever. He is my manager so I have to communicate with him. What do you think is up with this man? I have never had a manager behave like him.
He is white and I am mixed. Why is it that these white men love Jamaican women so much? Why is it that married men cannot be faithful to their wives? He is an intelligent man and should know that people's career can end because of office affairs.
What the heck is he thinking? I have so much more to say about this man but it would take up so much time. Pastor, what do you suggest I do in this situation? I await your answer.
Evidently this man loves you and is eager to have an affair with you. The amazing thing is that he has not asked you verbally.
He prefers to say and do things that would make you know, for sure, that he would like both of you to get together intimately.
You are not interested. If you are not interested. he is wasting his time. I don't know where you live and work but some companies have very strict rules about sexual harassment at the workplace. You may want to check that out.
I urge you to seek another job but, while you are doing so, remember that if you do not wish to have an intimate relationship with this man he cannot force you to do so.