I sell myself to help pay for my husband studies


May 13, 2016

Dear Pastor

I read your column every day and I admire you. I hope you will continue doing your work for many years.

I have found myself in a situation that is embarrassing. I am working but my husband is studying aboard. I am trying to help him.

I have a few male friends. I entertain them in a special way.

It started by using my weekends as an exotic dancer. I charged for my sexual service. These guys are respectable gentlemen. I don't go to whore houses. They take me to hotels.

Someone saw me and a guy going into a hotel, called my brother-in-law and told him that they saw me and a man.

My brother-in-law did not believe so he came to the hotel to see for himself.

This guy and I were in the hotel room for four hours. My brother-in-law remained there during the time. When I came down the elevator, he put himself in a position that I had to see him. All he said to me was, "hi", and I said, "hi".

The guy I was with did not say anything. I saw my brother-in-law the following morning and begged him not to say anything to my husband.

He said he could not promise me that he would not say anything, but not right now. He also said he would not hold it as a secret forever.

I do not know what to do. Would my husband believe me if I told him I only did these things to help put him through school? Since my brother-in-law saw me, I have not been anywhere with another man. I did not tell him that I sold myself. He thought the man he saw me with was a boyfriend.


Dear L.T.,

Surely, this is not a good way to earn money to support yourself and assist your husband to pay for his education.

I am sure your husband would prefer to struggle financially than to know you are prostituting yourself to earn money to assist him.

Whether you are speaking the truth, your brother-in-law could not have been happy, seeing his brother's wife with another man at a hotel, in a room for four hours.

If you wanted a second job you could have done something else. I won't condemn you for working as an exotic dancer, but to degrade yourself and become a prostitute is inexcusable.

Your brother-in-law, perhaps, could not say anything right away to his brother because he would not want to affect his studies. That is why he told you he would not be silent forever. You are not a credit to your husband but I will not condemn you.

You have forgotten that women who sell their bodies are generally known, regardless of how much they try to hide what they are doing, the news get around.

Even those who claim to be high-class prostitutes become popular because one man tells the other so they can go too, but she doesn't operate from the street and her number is passed on from one man to another.

Be satisfied with the little money you make. If you are assisting your husband, send him less. Explain that is all you can afford.


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