Fiancee wants me to shave my pubic hair

May 20, 2016

Dear Pastor

I am 25 and engaged. I had two previous sexual partners. My fiancÈ is the third.

I grew up in a very religious environment. I have another sister. My mother never hid anything from us. We saw her naked all the time, especially when she was coming from the bathroom.

My sister and I shared bedroom and we do not hide from each other. The only person we did not allow to see us naked was our dad. He and mom had their own room.

My sister became sexually active before I did. She had actually pushed a guy on me when I was 18. I liked him but I got to find out he had another girl. When I asked him about it he admitted. By that time it was too late. He had already taken my virginity.

My second boyfriend was married. I knew he was. He was able to give me the things I craved as a young girl, jewellery and money.

I had enough money that I could give my sister whose boyfriend was not permanently unemployed.

My sister and I never shaved our pubic area. My mother never did either. My mother was very slim so we could see everything. We did not think anything was wrong with that.




My fiancÈ is half-white. Whenever I go to his apartment and we are having sex, he tells me I should shave. He likes to do a curtain kind of sex. I have got to like it, too. He fuses over what I consider to be nothing.

The only person I have talked to about it was my sister. I don't want to put a razor down there. He keeps threatening me. There must be a reason why hair grows between a woman's legs.

I would like to have your comments on this problem. I don't want my boyfriend to leave me for another woman.



Dear K.F.,

I am not going to comment on whether it's right or wrong for female family members such as mother and daughters to walk around in their houses naked.

In any case, that is not what you are concerned about. You want me to comment on whether your fiancÈ has the right to require you to shave you pubic area because that is the way he prefers to see you. He believes it enhances love making.

There are good reasons why some women do not shave their pubic area.

According to Madeleline Castellanos, MD: "Shaving off all of one's pubic hair has been all the rage - probably because people always want to emulate what they see as a 'standard'.

Such is the case with porn. which has been showing fully shaven men and women, giving the public the idea that this is a condition to strive towards. It certainly makes it easier to see the action without all that hair in the way! But I am here to say, you may want to think twice about shaving it all off.

Pubic hair offers true biological benefits. Mother Nature is never wrong. Why else would the body keep it there?

First, pubic hair offers a natural barrier to keep things clean, to decrease contact with viruses and bacteria, and to protect the tender skin of the area from being abraded. Sure, now we wear clothes, but sometimes even clothes can irritate the skin there.

Next, pubic hair helps to control the moisture of the area by wicking it up and away from the skin. This decreases the chances of yeast infections and skin breakdown. Without it, you will notice that your sweat will have to be absorbed instead by your clothing. Pubic hair is like nature's way of keeping things balanced."

Her favourite reason for why we have pubic hair, though, is sensation. "At the bottom of each little hair follicle, there is a nerve ending. When you brush across each hair, it sends a little sensation down the shaft to that nerve ending. These are different from other nerve endings that we have on our skin for pressure and temperature. All of these sensations are registered together in the brain, the result being the feeling of light touch.




Shaving completely, however, reduces your sensations to just the nerves on the surface of the skin and you miss out on a wider range of stimulation. Not to mention you can no longer enjoy when your partner might tug or even blow warm air across your bush.

Interestingly, pubic hair is part of what designates a person as having reached sexual maturity. It's the flag that says 'I'm an adult who is sexually ready' rather than the bareness that exists before puberty hits.

I hope your fiancÈ respects you enough and will not insist that he should have his own way. I hope he will marry you and give you time to fully make up your mind whether you wish to shave or not.

Perhaps if you do not wish to be 'bald' down there, you may want to do a little cutting of the longer hair.


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