My 'phone boyfriend' wants to get me pregnant


May 24, 2016

Dear Pastor:

Greetings! I enjoy reading your column. I have always wanted to write to you but now I think I have the courage.

I am 23 years old. My problem is that I think I always love the wrong persons too hard. I have been talking to a man, who lives abroad, for over two years now. We have yet to meet in person.

At first, he was really kind when I was in need. I didn't have to ask him for anything. But all that has changed. He has promised to come see me for about five times now but is always changing his mind. He even cancelled his flight. He said he has changed his mind because of my attitude towards him. That's when I told him my mind and I stood up to his nonsense.

He told me that he is married and he and his wife are living in the same house but are not having sex. He isn't pushing the divorce because he has too much to lose. This man has said many times that he was going to marry me. But he can't say when he'll get his divorce.

I think he has lied about most of the things he has told me. But I didn't say anything about it to him. The least thing I say gets him upset and he curses. Most times, he accuses me of things that are uncalled for. Then he will block me and unblock me when he feels like it.

I love him, but I think he is playing with my heart and I cry myself to sleep too many times. My head aches because of him. I can't take it anymore. My friends have told me to leave him, but it's not easy for me to do so. Sometimes he makes me so mad. I don't know how someone so far could be so stressful. I crave to hear his voice, but as soon as he starts talking to me, it makes me mad and I wish it could go back to the good times.

He is disappointed because he wants to come to Jamaica and get me pregnant. I told him that I don't see me living that kind of life. I need a family, not a babyfather, and I don't plan on having unprotected sex with him the first time he takes the plane to come and spend a few days with me. He isn't talking to me now, but he has booked his flight for early next month. If he cancels again, I'm just going to end it and find the strength to move on. Please give me your advice.

A. B.

Dear A. B.

You should not encourage this man to come to Jamaica to visit you. He is a married man who is living with his wife. You know that he is a liar, and he does not respect you. He sees you as someone who needs his money and who would tolerate anything he does. That is why he blocks you and unblocks you at will. You are allowing this man to make a fool of you. You have never met him and yet you say that you love him and often, you crave to hear his voice.

It bothers me when lovely Jamaican girls like you allow guys to turn you into fools. This man told you that he wants to get you pregnant. You love him, so much that when you see him, he will turn you into butter, and you would not even remember to use a condom because your head gone already.

Let the man stay where he is. Do not encourage him to come to Jamaica!


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