I am living a very unstable life
I hope that you are having a tremendous day because I am not. My life is full of ups and downs. However, I thank God for keeping me alive. I am 17 years old and I am carrying many grievances in my heart. There's no one in this world that I can talk to. Nobody seems to understand.
I am currently living with my aunt and her four children along with her husband. She treats me as if I am somehow less than human. I am not an innocent child, so I won't paint that image, but whenever she talks to me, which is rarely, she only has negative words for me.
She is not the one supporting me financially. My mother is, but she treats me even worse! She has another child who's my little brother. She treats him like a king as well as his father, but me, she treats like an outsider. She abuses me every day - emotionally, physically, verbally, and psychologically.
I am sick to death of attending counselling sessions. They never work. I have run away countless times and even begged to be put in a place of safety. After I was put there, I begged to come back out because I was almost beaten to death in there, so I decided to cope with the conditions at home.
Pastor, I haven't lived one place for six months since I got out, and I was 15 then. I was expelled from two traditional high schools in Kingston, so I can see why my mother is frustrated. But I will soon be an adult, and she swears every day that she won't have anything at all to do with me when I turn 18. I have nobody and nowhere to go.
My father is a deportee and is worse off than I am financially. I want to go to college to achieve my goals and to silence those who fight against me, but the situation is dim. Pastor, please let me hear from you.
I hope that now that you are very close to your 18th birthday you are beginning to realise that your folks might not be as tolerant with you as before. You have admitted that you have given some problems. You actually said that you have not been innocent. I understand what you mean, and I want to assure you that I do not consider you a bad person. I realise that some young people struggle a lot, especially when they are from a dysfunctional family. Many of these young people change, however, and head in the right direction after they have gone through adolescence and were willing to listen to those who were in position to guide them.
What I am trying to say is that if you change your attitude, you would have already won the battle. A person's attitude can help him/her to become a good or a bad person. A good attitude will cause a person to listen and accept guidance. However, some persons believe that what older persons or professionals say is foolishness, so they are doomed to fail.
Right now you dislike your aunt and everybody in her house. And you are jealous of your brother. You see your father as a joker. You think that there is no hope for you, but you are wrong. You need to get down on your knees and pray and ask God to remove every hate from your heart and to make you into a new person. Ask Him to open doors for you. Tell Him what is in your heart and how you feel, and you would be surprised to see how others would relate to you. They would see a change in you. Right now they see you as a bad girl. Only you can change that.
I have sent you a text. I hope that you will contact me after you have read it. In the interim, I will be praying for you.