My husband slept with the helper when I was sick

August 11, 2016

Dear Pastor
I have tried many times to call you, but never successful. I am 62 years old. I don't go to sleep until your programme is finished. You are my company. I have a man. We have been married for 30 years. I am disappointed in him. I was sick for about seven weeks, so my son asked a lady to come and wash for us. This woman got in with my husband. We paid the lady $2,500 to wash and clean. Although the lady did not complain, my husband said that money was not enough.
One day when I thought she was ironing, my husband and her were having sex. It is my neighbour who told me. I did not know that my husband had come home. But the neighbour came in the yard and called and my husband answered. He was in the back room having sex with the woman. I know they were having sex although I did not see them. I asked him how come he came in and was so quiet. He said he thought I was asleep. I could see the guilt in his face.
I told my son that his father and the woman had sex and he asked the woman. She didn't say it was not true, she told him to ask his father. He told her not to come back. I am feeling better now, and sometimes for the whole week my husband comes in late. That never used to happen. He is spending time with the woman. I don't know what to do. He was never the type of man to ignore me. If I mention this woman's name to him, he tells me that I am sick in my head and imagining things.
Our son is very upset with his father. My son is a Christian. Since my husband has taken up this woman, he has stopped going to church. I told the bishop that he is not living right. The bishop spoke to him and that made things worse. He said that I should not have told the bishop. Help me, pastor.
T. S.
Dear T. S.
You suspected that your husband was having sex with the helper. He came home one day, and you only knew that he was there after the neighbour came. The point is that you did not see him doing anything. You did not see the helper and him having sex. You suspected that they were.
However, the helper did not give a straight answer to your son. If they were not having sex, she should have said, "No, we were not having sex." Instead, she caused you to believe that they were engaging in sexual intercourse by saying, "Ask your father."  Your husband told you that you are going crazy, but now that the woman is not working with you anymore, he comes in late. So where is he?
You suspected that he is visiting the woman. You have no proof, but he is doing everything to make you believe that he is with the woman. Out of frustration, you told the bishop that his conduct is bad. He has stopped going to church because he is probably embarrassed. Both of you need to make an appointment to see a family counsellor who does not attend your church.  Your son should be a part of the counselling sessions also because he was the one who hired the lady.
By your husband's actions, he is showing to you that something is wrong. Something is keeping him from coming home. You say that it is the woman, but he may say that it is something else, so make an appointment to see a family counsellor soon.


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