My boyfriend told me not to wait for him


August 24, 2016

Dear Pastor,

I am 17 years old and I like to read your column. Sometimes I save part of my lunch money to buy THE STAR just to read what you write. I have a boyfriend and he will turn 18 in December. He has become very wild.

When I talked to him about the number of girlfriends he has, he told me he can't help it. He got that from his father because his father used to have lots of women, and even now his father is playing around with another woman.

He said he heard his mother quarrelling with him about that woman and he told her that he can't cut off all his female friends just to please her.

My boyfriend slept with three other girls, but he said that is not cheating because he had sex with them before I agreed to be his girlfriend. He also said that since we are together he has been very straightforward.

Pastor, I want to believe him, but he told me that he has a weakness for sex. I can go to his house any time, but whenever I go there and his mother is there and I am in his bedroom, he has to keep his bedroom door open.

His father is hardly at home. His job takes him out of town all the time. I made this man take my virginity. I wish I could get it back because he is leaving the island and he told me that he doesn't know what will happen when he goes abroad, so he is not going to tell me to wait on him. I was shocked when he told me that I can look around when he is gone. What do you think?


Dear L.T.,

This guy doesn't truly care for you. Generally, when a man has a girlfriend and he has to leave the country, he would plead with her to be faithful to him and not to be involved with another man.

On the contrary, this guy is saying that he does not know what will happen in the future. So when another guy comes around and shows interest in you, you should not let the opportunity pass you by.

The love he has for you is not strong. He is a player. Your virginity is gone, but that does not mean that you will never get a good man who would not question you about that. He said that his father had lots of women, so he can't help doing the same.

What he was really saying is that to be a womaniser runs in the family, so to speak. So you would have to put up with his behaviour, even if the both of you were to get married. I suggest that you end this relationship before he leaves Jamaica. Don't wait until he goes.

Shake him off now, so that you wouldn't have to fret about him. Consider what transpired between the both of you as a big mistake, but don't condemn yourself.

Get yourself a good education. It is the way forward. This young man is going abroad. You can stay right here in Jamaica and do your very best in school until there is an opportunity for you to travel.


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