Can't get along with my man's daughter

September 05, 2016

Dear Pastor,

I am 22 years old and a Jamaican. I have a boyfriend who is 40. He is very good to me. He sees to it that I have money at all times. He is a little jealous, but I try to tell him the truth. When we met and became friends, I pledged to him that I would be truthful to him.

I used to have a boyfriend and he was nice, but I always had to be begging him for money, so I left him for this man. I am staying at his house.

He is a contractor and he is putting up some apartments right now. He says one is for me.

He has one of his daughters living with him. She and I are the same age. We talk, but we are not friends. She comes in and goes into her room and closes her door. Her father told me not to 'put her on my head'.

This girl told me one day that I should not wear certain clothes in her father's house. I asked her why and she said because she said so. When her father came, I asked him if he has anything against the type of clothes I wear, and he said no, he likes to see me in them.

 

PARENT'S HOUSE

 

I was sitting on her father's lap and after he left, she asked me why don't I go home to my parent's house. I told her that I would go when her father wants me to go.

I don't like to be there when her father is not there and she is there.

She is a Christian. She cannot cook very well. Her father doesn't like to eat when she cooks. But when I cook, he enjoys it. I grew up with my aunt and my aunt taught me to cook and bake.

When her father is here, she behaves like the perfect lady. But as soon as he is gone, she throws words. If I answer her, it would cause us to get into fights.

Even the helper told me that the girl doesn't like me. I left my aunt's house because her boyfriend wanted us to be friends and when I told my aunt, she said that he is a gentleman and she doesn't believe that he would have an affair with me.

I was at the bus stop one day and this man saw me and offered me a ride. I don't know if this relationship is going to last because I would like to go back to school and he is not giving me any good word about that.

 

PREGNANT

 

I feel sometimes as if he wants to get me pregnant. Because of his daughter, I would leave and go and live at the apartment he is planning to give me.

The helper says that the daughter hates me because the both of us are the same age and I am the second young girl her father brought to the house.

What should I do? This man met my mother and my mother said that I should not leave him. I don't want to leave him, but I can't stand his daughter. And the thing is, she gets along well with her father.

A.S.

Dear A.S.,

I can see why this young lady does not like you. She believes that you should not be having an intimate relationship with her dad. You haven't said whether or not he was married and, if he was, what had happen to his wife?

The helper told you that you are the second young girl that this man has brought to the house. Perhaps that is one of the reasons why his daughter doesn't appreciate having you around.

She wouldn't tell her father that she does not want you there because it is his house, but she prefers to show disgust by not being friendly to you.

Your mother is encouraging the relationship because she knows that this man can take care of you financially and perhaps there is a future between the both of you. And whatever this man does for you, she automatically benefits from it.

You should make it very clear to this man that you do not want to have children, and you would prefer at this stage to go to school.

You should ask him to help you get a job so that you can help yourself financially. Considering the clothes you wear around the house, it is a non-issue.

This man's daughter doesn't like the way you dress. Her father likes the way you dress. Her father probably likes to see you in them. Don't allow that to bother you. That is not something that should become a big issue. You are not wearing them on the streets. You are wearing them in your boyfriend's house.

As a well-known contractor, this man might be in a position to help you find a job. You shouldn't totally rely on him for everything. It is never good for a woman to depend on a man for everything she needs.

I hope this man would keep his words by allowing you to live in one of the apartments that he is building.

Pastor

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