He loves me more but is still with her

October 06, 2016

Dear Pastor,

I am in a serious relationship with someone who is already in another relationship. We have sex often.

When we met, he said he was sexually frustrated, so I offered to help. His girlfriend is very far from where he lives and I live closer to him. He claims he loves her, but he can't let me go.

He misses me all the time and texts me more than her, but he doesn't want to break off the relationship with her.

Once I got pregnant, but I had a miscarriage. I don't know what to do because I have fallen in love with him.


Dear H.,

You said you wanted to help out this young man because his girlfriend is living far away and he has sexual needs. Why can't you speak the truth? I asked you that question because I believe that you thought that by making yourself available to him as often as possible, he would have ended the relationship with his girlfriend permanently and make you his bona fide girl. It is not working.

You are a very careless girl. I would even say that you are behaving as if you are silly. How could you allow yourself to become pregnant for this guy if you are only helping him? This man is willing to continue to have sex with you as long as you are prepared to be his spare tyre.

A spare tyre is used when it is needed, but it is not kept on the vehicle all the time. You are in love with him, but he is not in love with you. It is up to you if you wish to continue to be used. Consider what you have done as a big mistake and tell this man that the relationship is over.


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