I am confused about my boyfriend

October 06, 2016

Dear Pastor,

I am 19 years old and I am suffering from stress. I am living with my boyfriend. He has musical instruments to do sessions. He used to take me with him, but now he has stopped. Whenever he is going out and I ask him if I can come with him, he tells me no.

I knew something was not right because sometimes when he goes out, he does not come back until the following day.

That never used to happen. He used to come in early the following day, but sometimes he does not come in at all.

Pastor, this man has a woman who is old enough to be his mother. He is mixed up with her. He did not deny it when I found out and asked him. He said that I can't help him, but she can help him.

He said that he needs a van and she can help him buy a van. I told him that I am going to leave him and he threatened me and told me to keep my "what's it what's it" quiet. It is not fair to me because I try to take good care of him. He still gives me what I want.

I told him that I want to go to school. He is in favour of that. He never used to smoke. Now he has taken up smoking ganja. All his friends are smoking the weed now.




Sunday was the day we spent together quietly. He used to help me cook. Now he cooks and leaves. I know that when he leaves he is going to the woman's house.

His sister told me that he loves me and all he wants from the lady is the van. My boyfriend and I have been together since I was 17 years old.

Some of his friends are no good because they have tried to get me to have sex with them. I am confused and I don't know what to do.



Dear A.C.,

I want to believe that your boyfriend loves you, but he has been allowing himself to be entangled with this woman who is much older than him.

He sees the need to have a van. He does not have the money to purchase the van. This woman is evidently in the position to do so. So he has taken up the offer.

His sister is aware of it and she sees no danger in the woman doing so. That is why she is telling you not to let that affect you.

You should ask your boyfriend to explain to you whether the woman is going to buy the vehicle for him as a gift or whether she is going to buy the vehicle and he pays her back monthly.




He should also tell you whether this woman is also going to become a partner in the business. I am sure that if you were to understand more about the woman and the business, etc., you would feel much better.

Whether you make the decision to leave or stay with him, that is up to you. Just make sure that you make plans to go back to school soon. He does not want to take you when he is going out at nights.

Don't make an issue of it. If you get along very well with his sister, tell her that when she is going out to invite you and let her brother know that you are with her, so that he would not accuse you of going out with a man.

Continue to reject the advances of your boyfriend's male friends. Do nothing to embarrass your boyfriend. If you plan to leave your boyfriend, the safest place to go is back to your parents' home.


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