My Christian wife is not a good woman


October 21, 2016

Dear Pastor,

I need your advice. I am 50 years old and I have five children, but they are all big people.

My mother told me years ago that I shouldn't marry this woman who had children for me. I told her that am a Christian so I should marry and settle down.

I have tried my best to live with this woman. She does not do anything for me. I work hard and when I come home, there is no food. I have to cook for myself. I also have to wash for myself.

Our children have no respect for me. They do whatever they want and she does not correct them.

When I speak, she says that I am too miserable. Things got so bad that I threatened to walk out and leave them alone. But as a Christian, I have to remember that I made a vow to this woman, "For better for worse, for richer for poorer, in sickness and in health."

There are other women out there who would have me, but I am holding my corner. I am getting older and I wonder what is going to happen to me when I become a senior citizen. This woman goes to church every Sunday.

P. E.

Dear P. E.,

You have either lost control of your house or you never had control. Why have you allowed the situation to go on for such a long time?

How could you be working and providing for your home while your wife is at home and when you get home, nothing is prepared for you to eat?

Something is wrong with this woman. It seems to me that she can't claim that she loves you. If she loves you, she would take care of you. She would prove her love by seeing to it that your needs are met.

She does not respect you at all. If she had respected you, she would stand up for you, she would have her children under control.

I am afraid that her going to church means very little, because the church should be teaching that a man is the head of his house. That is what the Bible says.

If you know that you are ill-treating this woman and as a result of that ill-treatment, she is not treating you well, that is a different matter.

Examine yourself and begin working on you. But according to what you have said, you have been treating her well, yet she has not been a good wife.

May I suggest that both of you make an appointment to see a family counsellor.

Do your very best to save your marriage. I am cognisant that not every marriage can be saved, but try to save yours.

Children must learn to have respect for their parents. If your wife was showing you respect, your children would have respect for you.


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