My mother's man keeps asking me for sex

October 26, 2016

Dear Pastor,

I love reading your column and I need your advice. I have a problem. I am just 18 years old and I don't know what to do.

I am living with my mother and stepfather. My stepfather is always asking me for sex, and I can't tell my mother because when I was 14 years old, my mother used to have a man visiting her, and whenever she was not there, the man used to always ask me for sex.

So one day I decided to tell my mother, and my mother didn't even ask him. She threatened to beat me because she said he would never put question to me.

I called my father and told him and he threatened my mother. He told her if she put her hands on me because of her dirty man, the law will have to come for him.

When my mother told the man what my father said, he said that he would leave because I am a liar. He left and my mother called my father and told him to come for me because I am causing trouble.

My father told me to pack my bag. My aunt came for me and my mother started to cry and told her that I am not going anywhere, so I should unpack my bag.

Her present boyfriend has been living with us for two years, but I always have to be hiding how I dress. Whenever he is there, I don't wear shorts. I am always in pants. He told me he must get me because I look sexy, and if I agree to have sex with him nobody would know.

I don't want to sound like a troublemaker, that's why I have not told my parents. I know my mother needs the help that this man is giving to her. She tells me everything. He runs taxi.

I am planning to attend university very soon. I don't want any ride from this man. He might just take me away.

My mother has three of us; two boys and myself. One of my brothers is a bad man. I only have to open my mouth and tell him what this man is saying. I am not afraid of him.

I told him if he doesn't stop fooling around me I am going to mash up his car. I know he reads your column, so he would see this letter. Big up to you, Pastor, you are doing good work.

M.J.

 

Dear M.J.,

I know that you are very concerned. You do not want your mother to feel that because of you she cannot get any financial help.

I must urge you to inform her that this man is verbally harassing you. If she says that she does not believe and that you are having a problem with every man who lives with her; tell her that you would inform your father and ask him to make arrangement for you to live elsewhere.

You are a good girl. Some girls get sexually involved with their stepfathers. You could have done so, but you haven't.

Your mother should be very proud of you. But as you indicated, she might curse you instead and blame you.

Do not remain silent if this man continues to harass you, expose him.

Pastor

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