My husband uses a vibrator on me

November 02, 2016

Dear Pastor,

I am 45 years old and my husband is 65, and we have been married for almost 20 years.

He had children before we met. I don't have any children. People say I don't look my age. My doctor says maybe it is because I do not have any children why I look this way.

My husband has problems in maintaining an erection. He has tried everything and has gone to the doctor. I accompanied him to the doctor. I have never told anybody about his problem. That is just between us. I have never cheated on my husband. He knows that I am not that type of person.

My husband bought me a vibrator. He uses it on me. I don't have to use it. He found the art of using it. The first time he used it on me, I wondered how he knew what to do. He had his big son in the other room and I shouted out and the boy said, "Mommy, everything all right?" and I said "Yes". It is oral sex and the vibrator that helped to keep my marriage together, but some people say that Christians should not do oral sex or use sex toys. I would rather have my husband go down on me and use the vibrator than to cheat on him.

My mind is not on any other man but my husband, although I know he can't satisfy me the natural way. When I listen to these church people I wonder what they expect people like me to do. I will be looking in THE STAR for your advice.

A.H.

Dear A.H.,

You know what you are going through. You know the problems your husband is going through and that he has sought help from doctors.

You know you love your man. You could have left him and got involved with another man or with more than one. You stayed with him because you love him and you are satisfied with what both of you have been able to do to keep each other happy.

Therefore, I would say to you, do not allow anyone to condemn you by the things they say about sex toys or even oral sex.

I can't give you licence to do what you are doing. That is not my place as a counsellor. You know that you are a clean woman and your husband is also clean.

Oral sex is the most intimate type of sex. It has its dangers that you may wish to discuss with your doctor. However, you are not involved with multiple partners. So set your heart at ease.

No man can create the sensation that your vibrator can create. I repeat, I will not condemn you. What you do in your bedroom with your husband is your business.

Pastor

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