Grandma's man wants to kick me out


January 11, 2017

Dear Pastor,

Greetings to you and your staff. I love to read your column and I am in a situation where I need your help.

I will soon be 18 and I grew up with my grandmother. My grandmother is 72 years old. She has three children, all females.

I have been living with her from I was seven. I am the only child for my mother. She left me with my grandmother and went away. She has never come back.

She used to send us money, but since I was 15, we hardly hear from her. My grandmother said that she heard that she is not doing so well financially. My grandmother told me not to put my mind on her.

I love my granny. She told me that if I behave and keep out of trouble, I can live in the house and nobody would be able to put me out. My name is in her will.

Grandma has a man friend. He told my grandmother that when I get to the age of 18, she should let me go.

She told him that she would rather see him leave than to ask me, her grandson, to leave.

I used to love this man. But from the time my grandmother told me that he wants to get me out, my mind has changed about him.

Pastor, when I think of life, I would love to go to college and become a mechanical engineer.

I have a girlfriend. She is 19 and she is a good cook. Sometimes she comes to the house and help my grandmother.


My grandmother likes her because she said that not many young girls like old people. We have never had sex, but she told me that we should plan to have sex on Valentine's Day.

She is working and every week she gives me money. I am not working.

We have been friends for nine months now. Do you agree that she is a good girl?


Dear M.J.,

This man who is a friend of your grandmother is not behaving like an intelligent man. Perhaps he has his agenda and that agenda, I suspect, is to control your grandmother's house.

So he would love to have you out of the house as soon as possible. To suggest that your grandmother should put you out, shows that he is an idiot.

You did not give his age, but I suspect that he is younger than your grandmother.

I know you say that what he has said to your grandmother has caused you to dislike him. You need not worry, your grandmother is there to protect you and she has put you in her will.

Don't be disrespectful to the man, but do your best to obey and respect your grandmother.

Concerning your girlfriend, it seems to me that your grandmother loves her and appreciates her very much.

You should listen to what your grandma says about this girl; she is probably a good judge of character.

I know that you are not going to tell your grandma about the plans you and this girl have for Valentine's Day.

You know that I cannot sanction what you guys are planning to do. However, if you and this girl are determined to have sex, use the condom because you can impregnate her if you have unprotected sex.

You are very ambitious. Don't allow sex to take the first place in your mind. Study hard. If you want to become a mechanical engineer, put your heart and soul on it. I wish you well.


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