You gave bad advice, pastor!

January 17, 2017

Dear Pastor,

Good day to you, and I pray that God will continue to bless you and your family. I read your column every day and respect most of your advice.

Recently, there was one in THE STAR that I didn't think you gave a good answer for. Would you advise your son to marry a cheater and a deceiver with no morals or ethics?

This girl has a boyfriend who loves her. He is working and supporting her from the US. She cheated on him by having unprotected sex, not once but twice, and she got pregnant. She brought two innocent children in our cruel world in which AIDS, syphilis, hepatitis and other sexual transmitted diseases are going around.

She exposed this noble young man who loves her to all these diseases, and you are telling him to marry her.

Were you drunk when you gave this young man such bad advice? Would you advise your son to marry a girl like that or your daughter to marry a man who cheats on her, getting two children on the side?

She is 23 years old and has two children and still living at home. She needs to grow up and learn some morals and ethics to teach her children good values.

This young man should run like a thief downtown.

The Jamaican people value your advice and we listen. This is not a good one.


Dear C.D.,

I thank you for your letter. I am happy that you are a regular reader of my column. You are straightforward, but respectful. And I appreciate that.

You believe that the answer that I gave was wrong. When I saw your letter, I looked at the letter from the young man. And I can see why you say that this woman does not deserve him.

He has two concerns. She has cheated on him and as a result, she has two children. Please bear in mind that although she has the children, he has continued to love and support her.

That means he has forgiven her, and because he has forgiven her, it would be wrong for me as a counsellor to tell him not to marry her.

I took into consideration that the Bible says, "The end of the world is coming soon; therefore be earnest, thoughtful men of prayer. Most important of all, continue to show deep love for each other, for love makes up for many of your faults." (1 Peter 4:7-8)

This girl made serious mistakes, but like the Bible says, both of them show deep love for each other.

And this 'love' makes up for many of their 'faults'. This young man and this lady were reconciled and whatever she did with other men were forgiven.

He has concerns because she has not handled his money carefully. She has not saved any of it. So now he is wondering whether it makes sense to marry her.

And what I was trying to say is that, as I see it, he should marry her because he has very strong love for her.

He should bear in mind that she is still young and would grow into a mature woman and perhaps make him a wonderful wife because both of them, in spite of her weaknesses, love each other.

You disagree with me, and I respectfully accept your criticism. And I thank you for expressing how you feel.


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